I know I don't. I don't even really know what I'm asking for when I pray for humility, even though the desires of my heart should be as such. I'm the everydays life's busyness, of course that is or at least should be my prayer. But when I'm face to face with my humility, I realize that I've got a LONG way to go before I'm "humble at all times."
Just last week I was smacked in the face with humility. And thankful for the Christian mentor who brought along the smacking, but wowza!!!
M has been complaining for about a month now of nausea. Like all day, long lasting sickies. And since the big has been going around I've been on guard with my tea tree oil and Clorox wipes....but she isn't getting physically sick. She just complains. "But momma always said, throw up and go to school, or don't throw up and you go on your way!" :)
It finally came to a climax the other night last week when it all made sense and in the wee hours of the night, I ended up having to call our super awesome amazing fantastic Doctor (!!!!) and I freaked out a little. Like-"ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Let's rush to the ER MY DAUGHTER IS WEIRD AND SO SICK!!!!!" And before I could even express much more than her current condition, the doc simply said this:
"Now, you need to know that when you are in Honduras, this won't even be close to some of the things you'll see and experience. And you won't have me to call. And this is the norm for the folks who live there." SILENCE. Face palm. Humility in its most beautiful form.
(The oh so wonderful doc then led us to great instructions, saw us the next day, treated the whole family for an intestinal parasite (ewe gross!) and I proceeded to wash 12 loads of laundry in the next 36 hours with hot water and dry on high heat!) seriously.
So as we continue to pray for God's guidance and leading in our life and preparation in the years to come to serve perhaps somewhere in Honduras, I was so humbled by my sweet doctor's words, as he remembered our family's desires to serve in a third world country. He was very quick to put into PERSPECTIVE the small things that only seemed big at the time. And I was reminded that in our serving in another land with less development (medical, social, everything...) we WILL see much worse. No doubt. But even more than that, now, our friends are suffering with far greater ailments and have no medical wisdoms to turn to like I had so readily available.
I have to be honest with myself in saying that one experience and the following 36 hours I spent with my daughters (and no husband) were so, so, so (disgusting!) trying and exhausting in so many different ways.
But every time I thought about my
tiredness my dr's words came to mind and I was driven to praise the God who calls us into ministry....because He is the same God who prepares us and equips us for the ministry. And for that, we must pray for humility at all times.
“Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble his way.”
Psalm 25:8-9 ESV