Life Lessons - Learning what my mother couldn't teach me...

19 months, 33 weeks, and 19 days

2012-02-10T13:25:00.004-05:00

Never thought I'd be so attached to a timeline like above, but on a day like today, those numbers are all I can think of for a few reasons:
1. 19 months - Miriam turned a whopping 19 months today. she's now more on her way to being a 2 year old than a "baby" - scary! She's doing so many things and learning so much. Lately, she loves to march and stomp when we sing "we are the dinosaurs"...she loves giving kisses...she LOVES playing outside...she loves snack time, meal time, and any other time that food is involved (and the best part, she's not picky at all, although she's going through a funny phase that she picks and chooses the texture of chicken that she likes)...she knows Nana, TriPaw, and Papa, Kelley (the lady who cares for her in the afternoon), and Ginger (the across the street neighbor who helps us each morning to get ready and get in the car) by name...she is learning how to throw and kick a ball (her favorite toy) and we think she'll be playing soccer before too long....other newer words in her vocabulary include airplane, orange, chicken, bath, cupid, pasta, block, doll, lovey, blankie, outside are just to name a few....she knows how to feed a baby a bottle and the need for burping them afterwards (although she isn't as gentle as she should be, it will be interesting to see if I ever catch her feeding Lydia and ~~pelting~~ burping her the same way)...she LOVES her daddy, and loves the time she gets to play with him in the evenings, especially since I don't do much of anything but lie on the couch (they're favorite game is chase)...she is starting to come around on the whole reading thing - she used to only sit for about the first page, and now we can spend 30 minutes on one book!.....so many new things, and I'm sure the list will just keep growing! I can't believe she's growing so fast!!

2. I reached another week of pregnancy on Wednesday - 33! Only one more week to our ultimate goal, but I'm quite convinced that I can't do it. I'm 2 cm dilated, and contractions were 5 minutes apart for 1.5 hrs last night, although they weren't unbearable...and then they stopped, so it was a false alarm. We almost got ready for the hospital, but I fell asleep (that means they stopped and I finally got comfortable!) I was smart though - the bags have been packed and in the van for the past 6 weeks now, so we're ready at a moment's notice! I can't believe this pregnancy is coming to an end, and quickly. I so love the season, and despite the difficulty this one has posed, I'm grateful for the being that's inside of me, knitted together to be a special one, Lydia, our promise of beauty. I have realized, though, that sadly I will miss my OB visits - Since seeing him and his nurse so exclusively over the past 10 weeks, they've become such friends. They're the reason I get to shower and put on make up each week. I have no clue what it will be like after it's all over when I don't visit them each week. They're my new BFFs!! Nonetheless, we keep pushing for 5 more days at least - but J and I think that it's gonna be this weekend....who knows?!

3. 19 days left until I'm no longer employeed! I've been trying to tie up any loose end that ever existed before the end of this week, as we have a feeling that I won't be able to do much work after the weekend, or next week. I just signed my last mailout on official letterhead with my name on it. It's sad that more will be ordered next month, and my name won't be on it....but, it's not as sad that I won't be stressed out by finding substitutes for Sunday school classes at last minute notices, or deal with parents who have disobedient and defiant children, nor will I be on call 24/7 for anything and everything that could happen in the church. It is definitely bitter sweet, don't get me wrong, but I am excited for the life ahead - and can't believe it will be here before I know it!!

Other random thoughts from the week:
- Beaches is a great movie, and perfect for a good cry.
- Chocolate chip cookies are my new favorite treat
- I think our oven has bit the dust
- I really, really, really miss Hobby Lobby and Michaels
- We're getting Outback tonight because the lady supplying the meal is the "take out queen" - bloomin onion, here I come (so glad I don't have heartburn during pregnancy!)
- finished reading Exodus this morning - those silly Israelites, when will they ever learn?!
- Tuesday is Valentines day, and while Miriam's valentines for her preschool class were finished last weekend, I haven't even thought about Jeremy, and made him promise he wouldn't was $4.95 on a cheesy card this year
- I've watched the full seasons of Downton Abbey and wait in total suspense for Sunday (hopefully Lydia won't ruin that!)
- I fell asleep while watching Toy Story 3 yesterday...not a good sign for the review of that movie
- I wonder what the weekend looks like - we'll just have to wait and see!!

Moses....or Pharaoh...

2012-02-06T09:58:00.002-05:00

I've been reading through the start of the Bible and this morning I read chapters of Exodus where the account of the Israelites vs the Egyptians is recorded. As I read the Old Testament, I often transport myself into these stories trying to figure out what was going on, what everyone was thinking, and how I would have reacted. They are always filled with so much adventure, and grace.
There were so many thoughts running through my head about this account....
1. How often am I like Moses, declaring myself not worthy of acting as the Lord's servant because of my failings?? Like, "who am I Lord, that you'd want me to share your love with that person?" Many times I find myself at the foot of God, claiming to not be able to do whatever he calls me to do - when in reality, the Lord equips us for whatever purpose and task he sets before us. And just like Moses, I sometimes need confirmation of the Lord's power.
2. How often am I like Pharaoh, having a hardened heart and not listening to the Lord in his commandments in my life? The Lord hardened his heart to show his glory, and Pharaoh was so determined....determined to go against every plague the Lord was sending - he wanted to be blessed, but wouldn't follow through and let the Israelites leave.
3. How often am I like the Israelites, giving my cents of grumbling at anything that doesn't go my way? How many times, I don't understand how the Lord is working his goodness in my life for tomorrow because I'm distracted by the present of what he is doing today (and how I don't think it jives with what I think should be happening).

This is the bottom line of the account of the Exodus: The Lord will prove his might in any way - and sometimes will go out of his way - to have it been seen. He is filled with so much might and power, so much that we can't put our minds around it. But, he uses it for his glory, his purpose, and our good.
Thankfully, we live in a day where the locusts, frogs, hail storms, and death of the firstborns won't really come to us, but the Lord will continue to work out his ways in our life.
May this account remind me daily of the Lords power and grace, and my need to submit to his will, knowing he will supply all I need.

Busy....

2012-02-04T20:57:00.004-05:00

I'm finishing up week #3 of bed rest and after a week and a half of pure boredom, I created some motivation and purpose in life for the 8 hours that I'm typically home alone in the quiet without Miriam during the week. I've become quite productive in the past 10 days and I must say I'm quite proud.
There was only so much internet surfing, facebook stalking, and Maury watching one person can do, so I had to find something else to occupy my time. Unfortunately, blogging hasn't made it to that list, but maybe I'll be more blog-filled in the upcoming days as we anticipate the bed rest coming to an end. Here's a recap on the last week:
1. Scheduled visitors to come each day Mon-Thurs, particularly around lunch time (accomplished 1. getting lunch fixed/brought from the outside world, 2. catching up with old friends, 3. watching good movies, 4. actually "working" with the interim director who will step in after I leave, 5. gave something exciting to look forward to each day).
2. Visited the doctor twice (again) this week, once for an emergency visit after contractions and no fetal movement, then another for my shot and regular check and a surprise ultrasound. I LOVE my OB doc and his nurse. I've seen them more than once a week since a week before Christmas. I am already going through withdrawals for when this whole thing is over and I won't get to visit them. They are my new BFFs. Plus, the doctors visits are the only reason I ever shower and actually get ready and wear real clothes. It makes me feel "special" to get to get out. ha.
3. Ate fruit instead of horrible snack items lying around the house. My friend brought a fruit mix to the house 2 weeks ago and I ate it up - so we made a second batch of it, and I can't stop eating it!!!
4. I started reading the scriptures all the way through - I get tired of reading novels, but thought I could spend some valuable time reading the Bible while I had it. This week I was in Exodus - the start of Moses and his life and his obedience and his fear. Kind of reminded me of me a good bit....
5. I did the taxes. This has always been a Super Bowl day tradition in my family, but given that the baby could come any minute, I had to get on them. And this year, anytime I got a document, I went ahead and plugged it in. Not too shabby this year, although our state taxes have gone down, and we no longer qualify for some things because "our income exceeds the limit" - ha, that's a first!! we'll suck it up and pay the $34 filing fee for those, just so they can be done and deposited sooner than later!!
6. I didn't spend hours and hours online this week. I did, however, spend a good 10-12 hours doing some work (close out reports, updates, emails, etc). I can't believe I only have 3.5 more weeks of being employed!!!
7. I completely finished Miriam's 1st year scrapbook with journaling. It's all done, and I love it!
8. I got papers from Miriam's preschool about her Valetines Day class party on Friday. Ooops!! Totally forgot that she is in a cute little class that now does parties and such. So, since I'm not keen on the SpongeBob SquarePants or Hello Kitty "will you be mine" cheap made cards that cost more than they should. And I figure that since there's a good chance I could have a baby next weekend, and for fear of letting the V-day needs slip through my hands, I spent the day crafting these babies:

I got the idea from this post off Skip To My Lou in January and thought - "oh those are cute, wonder if I'll ever need to make them...." And sure enough, as soon as I remembered I had to provide valentines for her class on both Monday and Tuesday of next week, I thought it would be perfect. My MIL picked up some clearance cardstock from Michaels ($3.33 for 25 sheets) and some Motts for Tots fruit snacks (Miriam's favorite) and with all of the other supplies already on hand, I got crafty during naptime today. I'm so excited a. that these turned out so cute and b. they're all ready to go. I also did some of these cute tootsie pop butterflies for all of the teachers. We're all set for V-day now and I don't feel like I spent a loot on everything!!

9. We got the last bit of Miriam's furniture on Friday. We were waiting on her tall dresser and the conversion kits. Now her room is complete, the nursery is complete (Lydia's name is actually ALREADY above her crib (it took us 7 months after Miriam was born to get hers up), and we've got everything we need for the baby. I could, technically, go in to labor tonight and we'd be set (although, I'd prefer to wait a good week or so).

10. It's Saturday and I've already watched 3 movies: Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (don't laugh), A Love Letter, and The Others. Now that Miriam is in bed, it's time for a Netflix show - Toy Story 3.

So, here's to another week....and hopefully at least 10 more days of pregnancy. I am excited to see what these next days hold - here are a few ideas:
1. another day with my friend Erin to watch movies all afternoon and eat CookOut
2. perhaps just ONE doctor visit instead of TWO
3. a day on bed rest at my aunt's watching her cable (she has EVERY CHANNEL known to man!)
4. ~~learning~~ remembering how to crochet and start a project for Lydia

Yay for another week!!

I'm bored

2012-01-20T15:11:00.002-05:00

Yep - in almost 5 years of marriage (and 18 months within that of being a mom) I think I can finally say "I'm bored." I need something to occupy me. I can't read too much because it makes me sleepy and I fall asleep and one thing I don't want to do is fall asleep (it makes night time sleep impossible!)
I've tried watching tv, but on the 8 channels of cable that we get, all I seem to pick up is Jerry Springer, the Nate Berkus show, an episode of the Cosby Show, and some updates on the weather. blah.
Don't get me wrong, I love my rest, but I'm really just lonely. Miriam isn't around for 4-8 hours each day b/c she's at preschool and at the sitters or napping. J is gone from 7 (at the latest) until at least 5 or 6 every day. It's just quiet.
So today, I've been blogging - well, I guess blog reading. I've found quite some interesting stories, posts, and cool ideas. One blog I read was a girl who faithfully kept up with her pregnancy weeks, which I never did, so here is my attempt:

Pregnancy Highlights:

How Far Along: 30 Weeks

Size of baby: Lydia should be about the size of a head of cabbage, but we have reason to believe she's still closer to an artichoke

Total Weight Gain/Loss: Gained 14 lbs(I'm now in a season where I'm losing weight?! I ate 4 - yes 4 - cupcakes since Monday and I lost a pound?!?! Too bad that "diet" program doesn't last forever!

Maternity Clothes: I wear some maternity pants and tops, but relish in the fact that I can still wear my skinny jeans and a lot of regular tops.

Movement: Since I've been lying down a good portion of the day, this baby NEVER sleeps! She does karate 24/7 in my belly!

Sleep: Eh, it comes and goes! I haven't slept for more than 3 hours at a time - getting ready to be on the nursing schedule I guess?

What I miss: Funny enough, I miss people touching my belly - they did like crazy with Miriam (and it drove me crazy) but very few folks extend the hands this time.

Cravings: Concession stand nachos and cheese and muffins in the morning. Can't live without a glass of OJ in the a.m., and a wonderful seedless navel orange to split with Miriam in the afternoons.

Symptoms: ABout 3 weeks ago, I would have said every symptom in the book for 3rd trimester pregnancy. Thankfully, all but Braxton Hicks have gone away. I have several BH a day, sometimes several in an hour, but the bed rest and drinking water helps tremendously!

Best Moment this week: Hearing from a test that we have a strong chance of at least 2 more weeks and I haven't dilated anymore since Monday.

Too bad I didn't keep up with this all the way through either pregnancy. They both have been so very different, I'm sure it'd be interesting to compare.

I haven't been good at taking the pictures either - but I finally got one this week. I'm starting to realize that these are my last pictures before I'm no longer prego.

I know that this time with Miriam, I had gained at least 5-7 more pounds, and I think it's obvious in the picture. Check this out - it might make you laugh!

With Miriam at 30 weeks, right after my morning walk

With Lydia at 30 weeks, after finally getting dressed for the first time in days!

It's funny how you carry so differently, but still "measure" the same.

Can't wait to blog more about other people's blogs, now that I have all the time in the world! Ha.

Have a great weekend!

January 16

2012-01-16T21:02:00.000-05:00

This has been a crazy day! A day that I have anticipated since Thanksgiving, and a day I'd never thought I'd experience the way I have in my entire life for two reasons:
1. Today I was put on strict bed rest, after discovering that last Thursday I was starting to efface and today have dilated a slight bit (just a fingertip, so not a whole lot, but nonetheless, more than one would desire to do so at this early in the game - just barely 30 weeks!). I had a hard time over the weekend, accepting the fact that I'd be on the couch for the next 0-10 weeks, but the more I rest, the more time I feel I can bide to keep Lydia snug and warm on the inside. The doctor had true concern last Thursday - which scared me - but seemed less worried today and was more encouraging. He did, however, change his projected goal of 36 weeks to now 34 weeks (that's how far Miriam was before her birth)...and anything after that is "icing" - I'm praying for a loaded iced cake at this point (watch Lydia come at like 43 weeks!!).
2. As of this evening, my resignation is official. Jeremy and I made this difficult decision at Thanksgiving, shared it with those who needed to know professionally at the beginning of December, and have lived "in secret" ever since. Thankful for the busyness of the holidays to help keep it in, but it was so difficult to be excited about this new change and at the same time reserved so not even our closest friends and family knew about it. The session met at 7 p.m. this evening to make this all official, and if it goes as planned, my ending date is February 29 (36 weeks....). I have felt like we've been hiding something so big, and now, it's finally out. I've been working at this church for almost 7 years - it's been our lifestyle, our worship place, and where we have met some folks and become quite close with many of them. I can't believe we're about to experience such a change of events.

Jeremy and I are THRILLED beyond measure that the Lord has worked in the ways that he has, but especially by providing this new job last Spring. We will definitely take a pay cut, no doubt, and we'll be raising our expenses, and we'll be playing it each month by the penny for sure - but I know the Lord will provide and give resources when they are needed most, and it will be an excellent opportunity for us to learn dependence, trust, and faith in him through all things.

And those "all things" begins even today as I spent my day on the couch, thinking, reading, writing, and working.

a hard week

2012-01-14T20:55:00.001-05:00

It's been such a hard week in all facets of life - emotionally draining, physically exhausting, mentally tiring, and spiritually challenging. I've been more emotional this week than I have in quite some time, for a couple of reasons, I'm sure, but it just hit today why I may be so choked up. Work has had its share of emotional, physical, mental and spiritual challenges and I'm coming to grips with a lot of that as we plan to make the adjustment of having 2 children and not just one, plus full time ministry. Of course, other reasons too....

This pregnancy really has been so difficult. Compared to the one with Miriam, like night and day. The doctors have been super cautious, my sweet BUSY 18 month old wears on me at all times, and it seems many complications have followed my path. I think I finally came to terms today for the first time that this could be our last pregnancy. And I cried.

More than likely, my body may not be able to sustain another pregnancy without being super high risk (I was "minimal" risk at the start of this go around, but turning into the high risk case since 26 weeks). Apparently, I'm already starting to make my way towards labor and that's why I'm on bedrest. And obviously, the subsequent pregnancies can do that since your body is a little weaker in some areas. And I'm not sure that's going to be recommended for us.

When thinking of this, I got sad that I may be enduring the last 4-10 weeks of pregnancy in my life - and that almost crushes me. Not to mention, I'll be enjoying those weeks lying down on the couch or in the bed, and hopefully not on medications!

I'm praying for renewed grace, rest, and thankfulness to overflow in my cup so that I can rejoice where I am right now, even if it is on the couch (although praying it doesn't get moved to the hospital bed!!). I want to take in every moment of my time with Miriam and treasure it, and take in every movement in my womb of Lydia and treasure it to. Lord, help me find the ways to do just that in the week ahead.

Meal planning

2012-01-09T22:04:00.002-05:00

So, my new years resolutions aren't doing too shabby so far (granted, it IS only day 9 of the first month....), but I'm focusing this month on meal planning. While I should have picked a better month, I figure if I get in the habit, something is bound to stick.
So, the Monday after Christmas, we sat down, planned meals and created the shopping list. We packed Miriam up for a morning of shipping and we went grocery shopping for the month. At Bilo, Aldi and Walmart....it was totally worth the traveling and all of the stops...and spent just under $200 (for the month! - with the exception of purchasing 1 gallon of milk every 4-6 days, bananas (1 for each day)). This would feed all of us for breakfast, Miriam and me for lunch, and all of us for dinner, allowing one night a week to go out to dinner. These are our dinner meals:
1. Minestrone soup (originally planned to make one batch and freeze half, but plans changed and we had company that ate our intended frozen batch...)
2 & 3. White Chicken Chili
4 & 5. Cream Cheese Italian Chicken - Jeremy's favorite crock pot recipe
6. Turkey spaghetti
7 & 8. Shrimp Scampi
9 & 10. homemade pizza
11-13. breakfast (pancakes or waffles, grits, and sausage)
14. Poppyseed chicken casserole
15. regular chili beans
16. Bowtie chicken pasta
17. BBQ chicken
18. lasagna hamburger helper
19. Chicken Soft tacos (a new crock pot recipe)
20. Tilapia with yellow rice/peas
21 & 22. Black eyed peas and collards

Of course, there is the occasional bowl of cereal, pb&j, or "snacks" for dinner...but I think we fared pretty well with the purchases. So far, since we bought our goods (Dec 26), we've only made 2 trips to the store (for the milk & bananas), and only eaten out twice.
Saturday, we choose CookOut and all 3 of us ate for under $11.

So, not only are we eating better, but saving $$ too....
however, this grand idea might be thwarted a bit when I'm bedrest - but like I told J...these are meals that a 5 yr old could make - there's NO REASON why he can't fix them :)

2011 Review

2011-12-31T21:13:00.000-05:00

J and I were excited to go out for every 6-8 weeks date night on Thursday night to a quaint little italian restaurant on Main Street in Fort Mill. It was tiny - one chef, one waitress, and one other lady who floated between the two. We unfortunately were seated next to a large party of about 12 who were absolutely rude, disrespectful and downright obnoxious. They took all of the attention from all 3 of the employees, which made our meal a little extended - which in the end made for quite a nice evening. The food was delicious and was served slowly, allowing us time to really have conversation with one another. We started talking about the past year and how the Lord has provided over and over again, and even taken away in some instances. His protection, provision, and plan were screaming through each thing we talked about ...and I didn't want to forget some of the fun memories and important moments of this year, so here is my attempt to recap as much as possible of the past 365 days that we can remember.
January - Miriam meets my college girlfriends at our first real reunion since 2004; Miriam learns how to hold a 4 oz bottle
February - Miriam officially learns to sit up without support
March - Miriam starts off slow with some rice cereal; Miriam and her friend Taylor enjoy their first celebrity gig (posing at the park for a photo for the local newspaper)
April - Jeremy travels to NYC for a college buddy's wedding; Jeremy gets a new job
May - Miriam gets her first tooth (bottom left); Miriam starts real solids - most of which were homemade; our first family trip to Edisto beach (that had a slight change in plans...); I become part of a blended family when dad remarries; family trip to the zoo on Memorial day
June - Miriam starts with the BabyNet program working with an Early Intervention Specialist to help with her developmental delays (the start of a great friendship with her specialist); Miriam starts crawling almost 2 weeks before she turns 1
July - Miriam experiences her first mission trip; we celebrate Miriam's first birthday pink ducky style; we learn that we'll be expecting another child by March - I stop nursing Miriam 2 days after I find that out - she was almost 13 months old; Jeremy scores a F150 truck with his new job to use as a personal vehicle
August - Miriam has surgery (tubes put in her ears) and comes through with flying colors after she suffered some minor hearing loss and many ear infections
September - the honda was sold (it was my car that my parents bought when I was a senior in high school and I drove it until April 2009); 2nd family trip to Edisto beach to make up for our shortened May trip; we travel to Columbia for me; Miriam takes her first steps
October - Miriam gives up the pacifier (or I make her do it - it only took 3 days); Miriam takes her last bottle (morning milk) - sippy cup and whole milk from now on; Miriam's top two teeth come in; the sentra was sold (we tried selling on craigslist but ended up taking it to carmax - that was Jeremy's car that his parents bought him when he was a sophomore in college and he drove it until he got the company truck); we learn that we'll be having another girl; Jeremy and I take our first trip away from Miriam for a friends wedding in Tennessee
November - we refinanced the house to save over $150/month and dropped almost 2% in interest - woohoo!!; 3 of Miriam's molars start to come in; I begin my 7th year in full time ministry as a Director of Christian Education
December - we bought a minivan (for barely nothing!) and sold the camry (I cried the hardest with the sell of this car....mom bought it new off the lot in 2005 and then I got it after she died in 2009. watching that car drive away was one of the hardest things because it was one of the ways I remembered momma...now, I'm just a minivan mom); J gets a promotion at work; both of our fathers have surgery

I'm so excited to see what milestones, memories, and changes happen in 2012 - looking forward to seeing how the Lord presides in our lives. As for new years resolutions...here are a few:
- take at least one picture a day of Miriam (and soon Lydia) and something that makes me practice using something other than the "auto" setting on the camera
- start my book (tomorrow!) - so excited to find the journal at 50% at Books A Million and use my coupon because I also bought this book: !!
- visit my grandparents and godparents more frequently
- cook at least 20 meals a month - seeing how many crock pot meals I can make and how many meals can be doubled/frozen
- become involved in a Bible study, like Bible Study Fellowship that's completely separate from my job and church
- serve, in some capacity, in a non-profit organization like the Crisis Pregnancy Center or a children's home

Take a moment to review your year....and figure out what new things you'll accomplish in 2012 (and steer clear of the diet and exercise plans - they never seem to last long anyway...)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Christmas 2011

2011-12-29T14:54:00.001-05:00

Christmas this year was, well, just different. Between being kept at home most of the time, family in and out of town, and Christmas on the weekend it made for a few changes in our normal holiday traditional routines. Nonetheless, it was thoroughly enjoyed by all, and was actually restful and not hectic like it always seems. We didn't throw any special holiday parties this year (partly because I"m exhausted, and partly because we're almost broke) so getting into the spirit was a little more difficult this year. Finally, by Christmas Adam, I was there...and then it left as quickly as it came. We were able to spend time with all of our family, although it was a short time, but we had fun and Miriam was precious. She probably needs one more year though before everything becomes magical through her eyes. A few pictures from our Christmas extravaganza....

Trying to get all 4 Ghent grandchildren in a photo can prove to be quite difficult.

My sister with her youngest and a squirmy Miriam at our annual Jackson Christmas Eve gathering (but the night be fore this year)

Miriam and daddy opening gifts -
apparently she was more interested in what Grace was opening

Our Jackson Family Christmas photo on Christmas Eve
morning at the grandparents house for breakfast

Aunt Maddy helping Miriam play with her new baby doll

Miriam learning a thing or two from daddy about putting

Miriam loves her new table and chairs!

All ready for the Christmas Eve service at church

Ghent Family photo self-timer shot

Possibly my favorite picture of the season. J having a tea party with Miriam on Christmas morning

The shot of when Miriam first saw the lit tree with gifts underneath

Oh Joy

2011-12-24T22:14:00.001-05:00

"It's Christmas it's Christmas" I shouted when I woke this morning. FINALLY I got in the spirit of things, did some last minute impulse shopping, and shared some sweet moments with my family. Now tomorrow, the advent is here.
May this special day be filled with peace and joy as we all celebrate the coming of a baby, the Savior of the world!

(and then, we'll undecorate as soon as lunch is over tomorrow....)

Follow up ...

2011-12-09T16:56:00.001-05:00

And if the post I wrote early today didn't vent enough..
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT that I spend $150!!!! at the jewelers today to get that stupid ring sized and re-dipped. I was so excited these last few weeks, and anticipated what it might look like and how I'd feel wearing it...
well, it's a little on the big side, doesn't go with my wedding set, and as J told me, "that's your christmas present."

way to go mom - it's all your fault!

(but, it is really pretty and offers a touch of extra bling....)

It's all your fault!

2011-12-09T09:39:00.001-05:00

It's been almost 3 years and I'm still grieving. There are so many cycles to that process, and I've been seeing them lived out in other people in similar situations, and I'm experiencing even myself, especially during this season. It's a known fact that anger is part of that process...and a lot of times, it's anger directed at someone totally irrelevant to the situation...when it really is anger directed toward the lost one.

Surely, in my time, my anger has been displaced on too many people and too many things since March 2007. and for that, I deeply apologize. But lately, in all of my thinking, my anger finally found its way to the appropriate source - mom herself.
It's all her fault. No, really, it is.

Had she not passed, she'd be a stay at home grandmother, caring for my daughter, my two nieces, and soon to be her new granddaughter. Neither my sister nor me would have to worry about this whole childcare ordeal, and we'd have that crazy Nana loving on our kids.....
Had she not passed, she and dad would still be living in the house where I grew up...which, has made quite a few cosmetic changes in these last months - almost as if it doesn't even feel like that home I once knew (which is totally fine that dad and Brenda are making it their own...they should and it needed it - and it's looking great...it's just different)....
Had she not passed, I wouldn't have difficulties putting the Jim Shore Santas out for display (and I wouldn't have 6 when I used to only have 2).....
Had she not passed, the ornaments on the tree that once meant so much to her wouldn't make me cry every time I see them.....
Had she not passed, we wouldn't be taking our family pictures and having such a missing gap in them....
Had she not passed, we'd be listening to Carpenters and Elvis Christmas music non-stop.....
Had she not passed, I wouldn't be going to the jewelers today to pick up a resized wedding band of hers to now call my own...
It's all her fault.

And now that I've had my brief moment of selfish humanity and vented my anger...
Had she not passed, I wouldn't have the joy of seeing my sweet Miriam look at pictures of her Heaven Nana" and grin from ear to ear...
Had she not passed, I wouldn't know the joy of experiencing a lost one, knowing their in the arms of our Heavenly Father....
Had she not passed, I wouldn't keep the memories that I hold so dear close in my heart...
Had she not passed, I'd be angry at her for something really stupid, like wearing all black (but in 5 different shades) or buying too many boxes of cordial cherries....
Had she not passed, I would be further away in understanding that "The Lord works for the good of those that love Him and who are called according to his purposes...."

Although I say it's her fault, it really is the Lord's will - for some reason - for me to walk through this life from this point on without my own blood mother by my side, helping me and encouraging me as I become a mother myself. I miss her greatly - especially in these days - and that grieving still hasn't reached its end.

Praying for peace in this season for me and my family, and for my dear friends The Leathers, The Whites, The Kimbrells/Phillips, and the many others experiencing loss, grief and anger in this season, maybe for the first time at Christmas. It's not easy, and it's more than hard, but there is purpose out of it. Although we don't know and understand that purpose, we're called to trust our Father, for he knows our needs.

Fear

2011-12-07T08:28:00.001-05:00

I have had a good bit of fear these days - really ever since the beginning of the pregnancy - for several reasons:
1. My family has a history of 2nd pregnancy miscarriages
2. I have a history of preterm delivery
3. I have no clue what happens after you birth a 2nd child and you're a full time working mother.

Each day, I have had to take in stride, and in faith, lay over my fears. It's the easiest way for the Enemy to attack me, and I am so vulnerable that I succumb to all of the worries that can accompany the process of pregnancy. We praise God for the healthy growing baby girl in my belly, and especially today as I reached 24 weeks - a big milestone: VIABILITY. Not that I'd want to deliver Lydia before the new year begins, but at least she's far enough along, and our medical world is far enough along, that she'd have a great chance of survival out of my womb. That's definitely comforting and reminds me to give all praises to God for his continued promises in our life.

As for post-delivery, and what happens...this is what it looks like: ?????????

I really don't know how it works, with two children under 2. I had a great deal worked out when Miriam was a baby. I was able to have her with me until she was 4 months old, then I put her in a church preschool literally across the corner from my church and was able to nurse her freely. Then, she had at home care. This year, we're back at the same preschool because I absolutely love it, and a sweet lady from the church (who also happens to be the wife of our doctor...) picks Miriam up most days and keeps her for the afternoon so I can work away. And then, on most Mondays, Tuesdays, and some Thursdays, I have night meetings which we rotate Nana and Papa if Jeremy can't be home. On a rare occasion, I'll have to pay for a sitter, or forgo my meeting. It's been fairly workable, and we've certainly learned to manage all of the running around, and take advantage of the 1-2 hours/day that I actually do get to spend with her. We've spent over $800 a month in childcare for her alone and that's CHEAP comparatively.
But emotionally, how do I handle that with another infant? I'm doubtful that our current plan can be arranged for adding in our addition, and switching to a full-time day care is going to be so costly.....
and when I start to think about all of this, I almost hyperventilate. I get so worked up emotionally and financially that I just have to stop and think about something else.
I remember the first moment that the Lord clearly put the desire for #2 in our hearts about this time last year. I remember the excitement, the joy, the adventure....but I didn't think ANYTHING about those 3 fears. It was certainly a "blissful" state, but all we knew and cared about was the growing of our family. That was all that mattered. It didn't matter at the time the risks of me carrying (or not carrying) another child, it didn't matter about what would happen to our lives after the child was born. But here we are, and I'm scared as can be.

Lately, I've been clinging to one of those "go to" verses from Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all of your ways submit to him and he will make your path straight."

In my fear,
I'm learning to trust with all my heart - just as I did in those first moments/days/weeks of pursuing a 2nd child...
I'm learning to lean on the Lord's understanding, even as I don't understand it, and not fall to the temptation of understanding the ways of life in my own terms
I'm learning to submit to him - even if it involves taking a risk that leaves me without a sense of security in this world.
I'm learning that my paths are completely ragged, confused, and even misguided when I don't trust, lean and submit.

Praying the Lord takes the fear away every moment of every day for me and for you.

Family Fun

2011-12-03T20:26:00.001-05:00

We spent Friday evening and Saturday morning together and it was SO MUCH FUN! We went for a spaghetti dinner and to watch the RH Christmas parade on Friday night. Miriam LOVED each and every part of the parade and was completely mesmerized by everything going on. She actually sat in awe for over an hour and waved, danced, cheered, and sang with everyone that passed by. We didn't go out last year, because we thought it'd be too cold and unappealing to a 5 month old, but I'm so glad we decided to go this year. We'll definitely make this an every year kind of event.
Then we played outside for a LONG time today, trying to get some good pictures of our family, Miriam, and my sweet 2nd cousin Jack. Although our pictures weren't overly successful, we had a blast being outside. Miriam just loves to run, run, run. She loves being outside and doesn't mind the cool wind. We even saw the ducks and quacked a little with them. All that playing wore her out, so her rest was sweet today and I really go to enjoy that time :)
Here are some pictures from our weekend:

warming up to it all at the parade

whoa daddy - did you hear that?!

Miriam and all her fans

who wouldn't love that precious face?!

Of course, always a shot of daddy and daughter

Our best attempt at a family photo on a super sunny day

Swimmy head

2011-12-02T14:12:00.001-05:00

I really can't think straight. Some people claim blonde brain, some claim motherhood, and some claim pregnancy....I think I just claim busyness. I am SOOOOO thankful for my 2 days off work this week, but I just jumped right back into the way of the world over the past 3 days (you got that right, I didn't get my usual Friday off this week...). My steno notepad is bursting with listed lines of things needing to be accomplished at the church, the house has potential every second to look like a wreck, I have desires for "upgrading" the house before Lydia moves in, and there are relationships to maintain and nurture that so easily fall to the side. Oh yeah, I have a husband, and a quite needy/teething with all of her molars and 2 canines toddler. So maybe I should just claim my swimmy head on life?
But I don't tell the truth necessarily. Some afternoons, I relish in the 2-4 (or sometimes up to 5!) p.m. nap that Miriam takes and how I'm "forced" to stay at the house. And we're totally spoiled by the fact that she's like clock work and by 8 p.m., she's been laid in her crib and is off to sleep in a jiff. That's when I zone out. I am trying to be more productive during those times instead of just sleeping or lounging (which I'm sure I'll be doing my share of sooner than later anyway) but it can be hard.
I've used nap times this week for scrapbook, crafting, trying to catch up with some of those wayside friends, journaling, and spending quiet time with the Lord. My family is at a crossroads in these days, and I am so desperate for the guidance and discernment he provides when we do seek him.
I was preparing to teach a study on I Samuel this week (the last 4 or 5 chapters) and came across this line in the book when referring to David and his ways of dealing with the Lord: "David learned an old lesson when he turned again to God for encouragement and strength and sought his counsel. Thereafter, the Lord became his rock, his fortress, and his shield. We too can find this in waiting on Goad as David did. We too must seek our strength in the Lord. And we too often learn this lesson through many trials and repeated failure to trust God."

So in my swimminess I'm challenged by David's example to seek after those things....and be convicted at my mistrust in my God, my Father, and my Provider.

Three goals, day 2

2011-11-29T21:54:00.001-05:00

So, at the end of yesterday, I wrote this post to remind me of why I took 2 days off from work. A brief reminder for my three goals for doing this:
1. see if "bedrest" really does help with early contractions
2. get my head wrapped around the season with all that it entails (both professionally and personally)
3. start AND finish Miriam's 1st year scrapbook

So...for the second day, here's how I ended up:

1. I didn't have any errands to run this morning, so after dropping Miriam off, I came straight home and showered (ahhhh) and sat down to start the scrapbook. I worked diligently until 11 when my phone started blowing up. Two times, the office called me - and I ignored it. Then, the 3rd ring was from Miriam's afternoon sitter, calling to tell me she wouldn't be able to watch M for the afternoon....which was totally fine because I knew Miriam would nap nice and long in her own crib....but, while on the phone with her, a 3rd phone call from the office, but this time from a personal cell phone. I figured, gosh, for them to call 3 times within 10 minutes, it must be important. WRONG!!! It was to ask a question about something happening a month away from now. It most definitely could have waited until tomorrow to answer. Top that off with the 3 calls and 4 text messages from the recently married youth guy from yesterday, and I'd say that there was no separation from the professional to prepare personally for the weeks ahead.

....I digress....so, all that to say, I sat for most of the morning, picked up Miriam, then was slow while she played after lunch. She napped from 2-445 today, and I was able to nap from 3-430 myself. After she woke up, she actually let me just "hang out" instead of crying to be picked up or go outside. She must know that something's up.

I had a few more contractions today, but certainly not 6 within an hour, so I guess it's okay? I'm anxious to see what next Monday's appointment holds in store to see if I'll still be on bedrest within the next 2 months...or earlier (yikes!)

2. As I've already mentioned, not a lot of separation today...but I am excited and looking forward to the busyness of what's ahead with Advent, children's programming, and other activities that take place in this part of the church year. I'm ready to tackle it and be a part of it as much, and prepare for the New Year, set new goals, etc.

3. I think it's safe to say that I'm CLOSE to finishing Miriam's scrapbook. ALL pictures have been pasted, and the layouts are ready for journaling. This morning, I realized that I was going to have WAY too many pages for the original 12x12 album, and I had been saving some special photos to the side...so I made another 8x8 album to put in all of the "you are loved" layouts of Miriam & Jeremy, Miriam & me, Miriam & her family members, and Miriam & special friends. I think I could use some more photos for that particular book, but there aren't too many pages left to fill it. I added about 85% of the embellishments tonight after M went down, then I cleaned out my scrapbook tote and papers and was able to purge a good bit. Funny enough, I have enough stickers and papers to do a whole other wedding album and a lot of sticker phrases in Spanish...wonder if I'll ever need those again - I sure hope not!

So, all in all, the 2 days off were well worth it! Despite the running around yesterday, and the change in plans today, I was able to relax a bit and recoup and prepare. I'm already looking forward to my next time off - the WHOLE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS!!! I NEVER take this time away, so I'm looking forward to it. I plan to use that time to get the nursery ready so we're ready for Lydia if she decides to make a super early appearance, or if I'm stuck in the hospital for a few weeks.

I'm so thankful for this rest - now I'm ready to tackle my unending to-do list at the office starting bright and early tomorrow morning and ending dark and late tomorrow night.

Three goals

2011-11-28T20:07:00.001-05:00

I decided to take today and tomorrow off (still sending Miriam to preschool and the afternoon sitters) for a few reasons:
1. see if "bedrest" really does help with early contractions
2. get my head wrapped around the season with all that it entails (both professionally and personally)
3. start AND finish Miriam's 1st year scrapbook

So far, goal 1 was a failure. I spent the first 4 hours of the day on my feet running all around town doing this and that. I had tried over the weekend not to rack up these random errands, but I failed. BIG time. And of course, as in all Monday mornings, I spent the first 45 minutes at the doctor for my shot, then paying a quick visit for an emergency check. They still have talk about bedrest sometime between 28=32 weeks (which happens to be right after Christmas!)....
So, by the time I got home and got the groceries unloaded (yes, unfortunately, grocery shopping was on the to-do list for today), it was 1:15 before I could actually get started on the scrapbook. Thankfully, I pulled everything out yesterday afternoon, so I was just picking up where I left off and not starting from the very beginning. But before I go on about goal 3....

Goal 2- accomplished, at least for today. I just needed a break. A break from the routine of going into the office, having meetings, emailing all day, fighting with the internet connection at work, making phone calls to answering machines....etc. Not to mention, we just came off of a holiday with lots of activity going on, and we're snowballing into some of the busiest 4 weeks of the church life. I needed a brief separation, and I still have 2 weeks of vacation left to spend in 2011 - so I took advantage and today I separated myself. I am only hoping that tomorrow will be even better.

And Goal 3....well, like I said, I started it yesterday. I like to do my scrapbooks all at once - it makes SUCH a mess!! So from start to finish, it will hopefully take less than 3 days. I'm about halfway through putting pictures on the pages...then i'll go back and embellish a little and journal. I got to one page layout today: "you are loved"...so many people visited with Miriam in her early days in life and continue to shower love on her. I wanted to highlight the 3 that showed up in the scrapbook today - because I did more than just stick their picture on the page. While I was accomplishing goal 2, I was able to spend some time praying for each of these sweet friends in their current season and thanking the Lord for their presence in my life for the lessons they ~~taught~~ teach me.

1. Kimberly (aka - Kimber, Aunt Kim, Kimbo, Jimberly....) - She's my bestest friend from college. We were potluck roommates our freshman year, split up after sophomore year, and gained more in our friendship from that separation than anything else. She's always been there for anything - the wedding as my maid of honor, all of mom's surgeries, and even her death. She's so special to me. Momma always said that in life we needed a "BT" (that was Belinda Thomas, her bestest friend from college) and Kimberly is definitely that, not just for me, but for my entire family. I must confess that she does more than I can ever imagine to do for anyone else. She'll drop everything in a moment's notice to be somewhere for somebody. Well...that is until now. She's got about a week old sweet baby boy on her hands now. Anderson Isaac is such a gift to the Foster family and I hate I can't be with her to share in that joy. But boy, did I ever pray for her, John, and Anderson today. They've got a lot going on, she's in the midst of breastfeeding (and figuring out how it all works), and they're a little distant from family and a lot of their old friends. Praying that we get to visit with them sooner than later, but unfortunately, it's more difficult to travel with a young infant for her, and I'm pretty much not encouraged to do much traveling, so a visit to Mississippi is definitely out of the questions. Until then, I pray for her rest, recovery, and time spent with her new addition and that people would surround her the way she loves and surrounds others during similar times in life.

2. Elizabeth (aka "BB") - Elizabeth and I met the week Jeremy and I started dating. He and I had our first real "date" at Durango Bagel (no longer in existence :() one Wednesday morning after we met. It started at 9 a.m. and didn't end until about 1 p.m.....but during that time, the owner of DB approached me and asked what I was doing. Seeing as it was Nov after my graduation from college, I was needing some type of employment so I took a job. Showed up the next morning at 6 a.m. and met my trainer - Elizabeth. She saw me through every season of my dating with J (the good, bad, ugly, and joy), we exercised together (I even got her addicted to running!), and we shared a mutual like for Sister Hazel (okay, she was a bit more committed fan than I was...). And then, it just so happens that Miriam's early arrival fell on her birthday - hence her new name "BB" that stands for "birthday buddy." She loves to stop by and visit and one day claims she'll take little BB to the movies, the park, etc. She teaches first grade and loves her job. In March, she submitted all of this work to be National Board certified. It was A LOT of work for her to do - I remember videos, portfolios, and then the big test. I was looking forward to November 18 as much as she was to hear the results, but knowing that she'd be accepted and start making $7500 more a year. Unfortunately, anticipation had it's time, and the scores came 2 days late....and she didn't get it. We don't talk about it much, but I know she was heartbroken. Who wouldn't be after all that work?! She's a super great friend, and is in the dating scene (unlike a lot of her other friends who are married and having children (or having their second....)). I have confidence that the Lord has handpicked her husband and new family and can't wait to see that to its fruition. Until then, I pray for her encouragement in all of her facets of life now.

3. Terri (aka, Aunt Terri, neighbor Terri, Timmy's wife) - Terri and I met the weekend after J and I moved in to our new house. They were neighbors on the other side of our neighbors and knew one another. When we moved in, we decided to host a neighborhood gathering to meet our new friends. That cookout was a blast, and since then, we've become to enjoy one another's company over progressive dinners, shopping trips, brusters excursions, BUNCO nights (although I carry a bit of jealousy because they're always winning....) to name a few. Even J and Terri's husband, Tyler, hit it off and became buds, and excuses for needing to play golf. After Miriam was born, Terri was one of the only friends to visit us in the hospital and to hold Miriam there (since she was a NICU baby, they were a bit particular). She had stopped by on her lunch break, hence the beautiful scrubs, and bonded with Miriam on her 3rd day of life. Terri and Tyler have been patiently and anxiously anticipating the growth of their family and have been through the season of infertility that many of us have experienced (with no good days)...but something they have experienced that many people haven't is loss - not just once, but twice, in just a span of 7 months or so. The good day of seeing that BFP and the joy that comes with the planning for what's to come....and then the sad day of seeing the physical toll of loosing that joy - something I've never known outside the loss of my mother which I can't even begin to think that it would compare. Even though our communication took a loss through distance and time in recent weeks, Terri has taught me what it means to be strong, turning the other cheek, looking out for the will of God, and keeping faith in the unseen even in the midst of the sorrow of the seen. Today as I pasted her picture holding sweet Miriam, I silently wept, knowing the desire she possesses to become a mother holding her own baby in her arms. I pray for her and Tyler diligently as they continue to seek God through all that happens, and for there to be some answers to help them move forward. I especially thought of their hearts in these upcoming weeks - December 14 was the original due date of their first baby. Although this season will be a busy one for us all, and they do so much traveling for family, I know there will be time to spend with them, even if it is a quick visit. Until then, I pray for strength and daily encouragement through the happy and sad moments they experience. Read her journey and insights at her blog (link posted on her name).

Now, I knew all of these things about these special people before today, no doubt. But I'm glad I had the chance today (and a quiet one at that!) to reflect on it. I hate that it takes me stepping away from my job and ministry to focus and pray for these girls in such specific and special ways. It was such a special and sweet time as I sat at my dining room table cutting and pasting. Kimberly, Elizabeth, and Terri: thank you for teaching me and helping me practice the gift of grace. I am grateful for you!

It's all done!

2011-11-26T21:37:00.001-05:00

Well, after 2 cheapo owl wall art canvases, I decided to try my hand at one last project today: the name board. We used individual letters in the nursery for Miriam all this time, but I honestly didn't want to move all of those screws, etc...so, we'll keep the "i" and the "a" for Lydia, I'll buy the missing letters, and we'll do the same in the nursery for Lydia. But for Miriam, I went along with the owl theme and got some inspiration after searching and searching for what I wanted....3 hours later (this was the longest project of all 3), this is what we have:

The pink was a little too dark for my liking, so I tried to make it fun with the polka dots...and they are a little big for my liking, but eh, it will work. All in all, I'm pretty proud of myself of this and the other two projects. Especially for saving the $$ that I did - only spent $15 when they would have costed about $150 in the stores and off etsy. So, I was able to splurge on the rug ($22 from Target) and the can of paint ($18 from Home Depot). I think I may just go for a plain lamp though, so that will save some $$ too. So all together so far, we've only bought the furniture (which, might I add, we saved almost $300 with 5 20% off coupons), the canvases, and the rug. This new room may not put us in the red after all! Mom would be extra special proud of me (except for the fact that I bought the rug NOT on sale) :)

another canvas

2011-11-25T20:20:00.001-05:00

So, when I bought the 16x20 canvas to do the first owl wall art, I found a steal of a deal - "mega" pack with 2 for $7.99. I also used my 40% off coupon, you do the math. Hoping that I wouldn't need both for the project (I always mess up) I figured a spare would be great to have anyway. When the first one turned out to my liking, I decided to embark on another project to sort of go along. So, for about 5 bucks, I've hand-painted two canvases that would have originally been about $75. Here's the second wall art:

Of course, I had some inspiration :) I'm so proud of myself. It's not perfect my any means (especially the turtle - I can't figure out if it's asian, angry, or both?!), but it certainly works if it saves us $70+ I did "splurge" on the run today at Target (the above painting is actually sitting on it) but I still haven't made up my mind. Sure would LOVE to find a less expensive way to get that one.

Next on the list - the name canvas. Instead of using Miriam's letters from the nursery, we'll use the I and A for the new baby, and put Miriam's name on a canvas with, you guessed it, an owl. That means I'll have 3 of the 4 walls with artwork with owls. yay.

Speaking of the new room, tonight is the first night in it. Of course the paintings aren't on the wall quite yet, but we spent some time playing in there today, changed the mattress and a few things in the drawers and she went down like a piece of cake. She normally has no problem adjusting to sleeping in a new place - hoping that this will be just as easy!

Outlet

2011-11-23T20:10:00.001-05:00

I've been hiding behind a blog outlet since about August of 2007. I need my old outlet back. In high school, my outlet was Chopin's Dflat prelude on the piano. I carried it to college, then discovered some absolute masterpieces on the violin that revealed every ounce of joy and happiness, or disappointment and bitterness. Bach's E major preludio and Bruch's g minor concerto to name a few. When I needed to leave the real world for a brief time, I engrossed myself in ink already on a page, I didn't write with new ink. Since Easter, I've noticed that I NEED that outlet more than anything these days.

Sadly, my playing lately has been kept to a minimum. Normally, but the end of the year, I've played in more weddings and special services than I can count on my fingers and toes. Unfortunately, this year, it's only been like 8 or so. (which means our extra $$$$ has been kept to a minimum too :()

We've just been heavy loaded with a lot of life lately - with two incredibly demanding 50-60+ hour jobs, the inability to visit with family and friends, the stress of coming up with the funds to pay a babysitter all week and night sometimes, the thoughts of what tomorrow may hold, etc. I need an outlet. And I don't have my most comfortable outlet. It's not as accessible this time. The only "free" time I have is after Miriam goes to bed and I can't quite bang out that Chopin piece, much less start squeaking away on my violin.

I've been praying that all of that would change. I was a concert violinist 8 years ago. Now, I just can play the violin. It is such a gift and talent and I'm not using it to the best of my ability. The Lord has been guiding me to different folks and organizations that may change all that soon. Opportunities are starting to show themselves. Although they aren't things that I can share in detail at this point, there is hope that I just may have the chance to get that outlet back. Until then, I gotta get to practicing, sometime?!. My goal - Carnegie Hall :)

Thanksgiving, what's that?

2011-11-22T21:27:00.001-05:00

It never fails, every year, I feel like I miss Thanksgiving. In the ministry, after the fall is in full swing, it's nothing but Advent and Christmas. More specifically, ALL of November is spent planning, preparing, and organizing for what happens the week before Thanksgiving and the weeks that follow.
Sunday, I decorated the church chrismon tree and got the sanctuary ready. Today, I was even writing advent devotionals for my families and sketching out Children's Church curriculum for the next 5 weeks. Somehow, Thanksgiving just slips up on me. Every year.

This year, we hosted a service at our church - a covered dish dessert fellowship. And Thursday morning we'll have a breakfast with the church family. Outside of those two events, I manage to pack Thanksgiving into a meal and a few hours spent with my extended family on Thursday evening. I just don't give it the justice it deserves.

I've read everyone's daily thankful posts over the last 20 some odd days and applaud them for keeping up with it. But I've been convicted NOT to do that - simply because I don't want to do it for 24 days, then stop doing it. I've made a mental note each time I've read one, to be thankful of something myself...and then pray that I won't stop being thankful, even after the "24-30 days of thankfulness" ends.

Just Sunday, I taught the kiddos about thankfulness. I listed off the blessings and provisions that God gives us and how we all experienced each one - we have TONS of "good things" to be thankful for. But even in our hard and long days, we're supposed to be thankful too. Paul, in his encouragement to the church in Thessalonica, tells them to give thanks in all circumstances....and not just on one particular day.

That horrible, no good, very bad day I had a few weeks back - didn't give thanks that day.
The weekly shots I get - not too often do I give thanks then.
But, give me a lower mortgage rate or a well desired yummy homemade pound cake, sure, not problem - I'll give lots of thanks.

I can already tell this will be a challenge.

So maybe it makes sense that I over look the actual day of Thanksgiving (in which the roots started from the Mayflower and pilgrims and indians, and the TV highlight of the day is Macy's parade....). But for now I'll try to make everyday thanksgiving, doing just what Paul taught.

Canvas reveal

2011-11-21T20:08:00.001-05:00

All things owl - I love it.

So, J says I stole the idea...I say I used it as great inspiration.
$30 canvas mass produced or $2.50 canvas painted by moi - what's your pick?

It may not be perfect, and the lines aren't even straight, but to me, it's adorable enough and it has personal touch to it. It works for me! The expensive one was a 21"x21" canvas, mine is a a 16x20. I only had to buy the canvas, because I had all of the paints and brushes on hand. I even took a quick refresher course on how to mix colors to make new colors :) So glad I had the inspiration, saved some $$ and got crafty.

Here's another little owl that I made last week as a trial run to see if I'd like making more of them and if I should use the burlap or not. I used the tutorial from Flea Market Trixie. Of course, Miriam loved it, but then tore it up. Ha.

And here's a horrible photo of her owl bow holder that I made the other night. For .67 cents, it works too. :)

What should I do with the other canvas (the package was $4.75 for two)? Should I do another identical painting, or something different?

And here's a link up button to SkipToMyLou's "made by you monday" post - hoping to win the big prize!

Miriam's new room

2011-11-20T21:18:00.001-05:00

Since Lydia's arrival is quickly approaching, we've decided to ~~bump~~ upgrade Miriam to a new room before the end of the year to avoid the awkward adjustments AND the arrival of a baby sister. We feared we wouldn't have much luck with that because of the furniture having to be ordered, but we were in business when the store told us they just had one of the cribs arrive that day! So, of course it looks like it's totally possible to have her all nice and cozy in her new room by Christmas.
We've already painted her room (buttered sweet corn - a nice blend of yellow and gold making it so warm and cozy). We've ordered/purchased the furniture in an espresso finish. The feel reminds me of Winnie the Pooh - don't ask! I've decided that since we didn't "decorate" the nursery other than a few silk flowers, a shelf, and her name letters, that we'd have a small theme in her new room. Owls are the big hit these days, and they are sooo cute. I learned in the nursery that "bedding" was overrated - we really just need crib sheets, so we didn't buy a bedding set for Miriam's new room. We'll save that $$ for when we turn her bed into a full. But I wanted to piece together some cute things from the different baby/kids owl collections at some different stores. I've gotten my wish list to hopefully bring her room together. Here are some of the items:

owl wall art from the Oopsy Daisy Too/love n nature collection at Target
(I have something in mind to make my own version of this though...)

cubical to store some toys and books (since the bookshelf will remain attached to the wall in the nursery)

cute lamp from the Happi Tree collection

pink rug to go in front of crib (to cover up paint stain....)

I am also thinking we'll do some wall decals of the owls and branches, her name letters will be transferred to her new room (in raspberry fuchsia color). We'll probably use a lot of the pinks/fuchsias/greens/yellows in this room - bright and cherry, and a not as "baby."

Oh yeah, almost forgot - last night, I bought a wooden owl (about 4") from Hobby Lobby, took some ribbon and hot glued it to the bottom, made a loop with ribbon at the top and viola - a bow holder!

I can't wait to pick up the crib and dresser this week (we'll only be waiting on one chest of drawers) and get them in the room and start hanging things on the wall. I'm so excited!!! Too bad we wont' be doing much to the nursery this time around. I do think we'll make the "name" thing different...I'm thinking vinyl circl monogram on a mirror??? We have a perfect mirror, although it's large...but until we settle on a middle name, that's impossible to do! So for now, I'll just focus on the new room!

SURPRISE!

2011-11-16T20:54:00.001-05:00

I love surprises! And after a week and a half of hard core working my booty off (and taking care of my 16 month old....and trying to keep our family sane when I'm acting as a single mom...and growing another little one in my belly....) a surprise was definitely what the doctor ordered today.
I've been a little on the sad side lately, just staying busy with work and not spending a lot of time with Miriam and having to call on so many different people to take care of her (which we're totally blessed beyond measure with the folks who step in to love on her on a DAILY basis!) - but momma would have LOVED to spend all of that time with her granddaughter, I just know it. She would have been a "crazy nana" as she termed it in her final note to me before she died, but still, crazy is better than none at all.

And I'm so thankful for the women in my life who not only love on me, but love on Miriam. My MIL is definitely a God-send (God wasn't just preparing J to be my husband all those years, he was preparing her to be a fantastic MIL too!), my aunt, ladies from the church, other family members, etc. They are great, wonderful, guiding, and helpful ladies.

Well, my surprise today came from another great lady. I don't even know her, never met her, and just recently discovered her blog through one of the link-ups I did last week. I had commented on her blog about this awesomely beautiful advent calendar and how I could only wish one day I'd be able to do something that crafty (but we all have learned my abilities with the sewing machine are limited....okay, none!) Well, then, she finds my blog, reads a post, comments on it, then asks for my address to send me a cute baby gift. I was thinking, "awe, she crocheted me something for baby Lydia...." :)

UM - NO!!! On my doorstep when I got home tonight (12+ hours after I left the house this morning, mind you) I had a package....from MINNESOTA...from the lady....and inside - THE AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL ADVENT CALENDAR!!! Get out of town!! And a sweet personal note that was so touching. Yet, another lady reaching out to the young momma without a momma of her own.
Here it is (the picture credit goes to her...camera battery was dead):
Thanks, Vickie, for making my day (and my week, and quite possibly my year)! I can't WAIT for December 1 to come so we can start using it!

Just throw it away

2011-11-15T20:58:00.001-05:00

I've been nesting really bad lately. I didn't really do much when I was pregnant the first time around, but it has seriously kicked in this time - and early! We had decided that we were going to keep the nursery as the "nursery" and bump Miriam to our 4th and final bedroom in the house - which meant that our "office/music room/exercise room/photography room/every other little thing room" needed transformation. So I got to cleaning in the closet and in the room, which led to cleaning other closets and other dressers and other rooms. My motto: "just throw it away."

I got to the last dresser in Miriam's new room - which I had forgotten a little bit about. In it were quite a few memories. I pulled everything out, sat down in the middle of the floor and reread over 100 cards from friends, family, and church family members from February 2009 - that cold month. The month in which my life changed forever. The month I lost my dear, sweet mother. As I was reading, I couldn't help the tears from flowing. I hadn't spent a season in sadness over her loss in a while, so I guess it was about time...and not to mention the pregnancy making me cry even harder. So many dear friends shared their hearts, their words of sympathy, and their faith in God. For so many of them, the caringbridge site I kept up was such encouragement to them. quite honestly, I have no clue how I manged to hold it together for all of those 22 months - see for yourself. But their cards of sympathy after her death seemed to warm my heart so. I had stuffed them away in the drawer, hoping to never read them again - I just didn't want to relive that season of life.

So after I read each and everyone (and laughed at the cliches of Hallmark and American Greetings...) I put the cards back in a pile. And then I threw them away. I know it sounds harsh, and some of you may have kept things like this over time for encouragement and remembrance...but I didn't feel like I needed to do that. Instead, I just threw it away. At first I was angry at myself "Why on earth did I just throw away those memories?!"

Truth is, I threw away the cards, but I didn't throw away the memories. I relive them each and every day. Especially in these days of motherhood and impending motherhood. I often think about mom, who she was and what she taught me (and didn't teach me). There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss her, but some days are just harder than others. I don't have her to care for my sweet Miriam, or call when something interesting happens, or vent when J and I have had a "discussion," or any of that stuff. She can't help me when I need help, and she isn't there for me to make fun of. But the memories are all still there. Vivid ones, at that. And I don't need sympathy cards to remind me of them. So I just threw them away.

Okay, okay...

2011-11-14T15:39:00.001-05:00

So, after I wrote this post last night, and asked for opinions - it was quite clear what I should do:
1. DO NOT COVER THE CHEST.
2. Maybe make a cushion for M to sit on.
3. Purchase special hinges/latches that would help with the opening and closing of the lid, or help it stay shut once M realizes how to open it.

So, my craft challenge, has actually been made easier on me. One less thing to worry about. Now...for the cushion, I think I got this one (and I might even do it a "no-sew" style method, my ~~only~~ favorite way of sewing...

Thanks for your input!!

Craft challenge(d)

2011-11-13T20:52:00.001-05:00

So, I totally need mom for this one, or at least her sewing expertise. She never taught me to sew, although she left her sewing machine to me after she died. I was always afraid of it - especially that little pedal thing that would make the machine rev up. Now I regret that I never asked her how to work it. The best I ever got when it came to sewing was how to sew on a button (and even at that, my husband can do a better job than me!)

Anyway, I've got a project that has to be completed by the time the baby arrives (preferably by Christmas, because we hope to have M in her room before then). PLEASE share any ideas or suggestions - or maybe even your talent - to help me figure out what to do with my predicament.

When J and I got married, a sweet couple from my home church gifted us a beautiful hand-made cedar hope chest. This stores a lot of our china, special tablescape necessities for the fall and Christmas seasons, and a few other random things. It's quite sturdy - meaning it weighs a bagillion pounds. It has a lid that opens with hinges on the back side, like a toy chest would, except the top weighs a good bit too. So if it were to fall down on your hands while not looking, you'd probably lose a limb! It has been in the "office" since we moved into our house, but that room is slowly transforming into M's "big girl" room. We have the first coat of paint (sweet buttered corn!) on the walls, and there is furniture ready to be moved in. But this chest has no where else to go in our house. It HAS to stay in this room. So I need to do something with it to make it functional, safe, and look like it belongs in the room.
Here are some pictures of it's beauty:

(You can already tell the color on the walls - so glad it didn't turn out to be a blinding sunshine!!)

I should also note that the color is a cedar pine - beautiful in itself - but M's new furniture is espresso stained...like a deep chocolate brown, so the two really won't go together.

So, here's the plan so far: Part 1: move the hope chest away from it's current location on the wall to right in front of the window. Part 2: Turn it into a piece of sitting furniture. Part 3: Cover it so M doesn't know that it has a lid that will open. I think we can handle part 1. Part 2, I think I know what to do (buy some pieces of 2" foam, spray adhesive together, tack on some no-slid rug runner stuff to the bottom and viola!). It's Part 3 that I'm having a hard time visualizing....and then, of course, producing. I'm thinking something like a box cover, simple, durable and easy to remove when we have to get into the chest. But I just don't know how to go about it.
1. Should I just get some fabric and drape it?
2. Should I get a table cloth and drape it?
3. Should I get something and sew it together?
4. Is there any other option out there for me?
5. How expensive is this little project going to run?

As a side note, the measurements are as follows: 39.5" length from edge to edge, 20.25" depth from front to back, and 18.75" from floor to top (keep in mind, there will be 2" foam pieces on top, making it a full 20.75" from top to bottom).
If you want to offer any suggestion, I'm game. If you want to offer your assistance, I'm indebted to you.
Go get crafty!!

Burlap

2011-11-09T21:07:00.002-05:00

So, the pinterest deal that got me inspired to make this led me to a few other websites....one being whisper wood cottage. When I played around with the burlap, I just knew the craft opportunities were endless - but I didn't know they'd be sooo endless. They're doing a Month of burlap projects where folks are linking up to show off their creativity. Well, I felt silly with my frame, but I posted it anyway and linked up myself.

And found some other really cool ideas/projects (probably none of which I'll actually be able to accomplish just because I'm not that crafty....these are some of my favorite.

1. owl ornaments (since my new favorite fascination is cute owls): http://www.fleamarkettrixie.com/2011/11/burlap-owl-with-pattern.html

2. monogram framed letters (thinking I may do this in Lydia's room...have a large middle "G" with a smaller "L" on the left, then an "E" on the right...or a "G" on the right...we still haven't decided on the middle name):
http://shearjudy.blogspot.com/2011/11/happy-november.html

3. and my ABSOLUTE favorite - the advent calendar. since I don't own a sewing machine that actually works (I have mom's old relic), I'll never be able to do this...but I still love it:
http://daranger911.blogspot.com/2011/11/burlap-and-toile.html

Since the burlap was so cheap - I bought a good bit of it when doing the frame (and I have an entire roll of freezer paper to use if I print on it), and lots of spare ribbon around. I wonder if I can think of some other things to do with my burlap?! Do you have any ideas?? Let me know and link up too!

Beautiful things

2011-11-07T22:03:00.002-05:00

Talk about a promise of beauty. We had our "big ultrasound" this morning (although we already knew the sex), but it was great to see all 4 chambers of the heart, the kidneys, the stomach, and beautiful head, the cord, and all of the little parts that make up the small melon in my belly. We were blown away by the black and white beauty on the screen and ever so thankful for the blessing of it. So that we'll never forget how beautiful that moment was, a few shots of Lydia.

A promise of beauty

2011-11-06T14:47:00.000-05:00

We've already started to have some cooler temperatures here in the south. I'm quite worried that our season has gone from summer to winter without our fall. I can handle the mild temps, but the below freezing lows in the mornings are killing me!!
A few weeks back we (finally!) cut our garden back. I LOVE our garden - we did it back in April 2010 when I was pregnant with Miriam. Well, I guess Jeremy did it - but I supervised! Here are some before pictures - atrocious!!

Here is a picture from right after we completed the garden and added in some plants (some already in bloom) in April:

What was there was quite the sight. I'm so glad we got to work on that space. If we never do anything else to our house, I'll be happy that this was done!!

So there, our pretty garden grew that spring/summer, and we cut it back, then it absolutely took over the world this year. It was so busy, overgrown beautiful flowers everywhere. It apparently attracted the neighborhood gray cat (that if I can ever catch might "disappear"...) because it kept pooping in the soil. Day after day after day after day....maybe that's why the garden grew so much?

So anyway, we took the time a few weeks back to weed everything out and tame our container of greenery. All of the beauty left. It was time for the fall and cooler temperatures to move in and all of the green to turn brown. However, last weekend, we noticed a little bud shooting up from our blue iris leaves. And sure enough, despite the below freezing temps each morning and a blast of rain one of those days, this is the beauty that has sprung forth - in the FIRST WEEK OF NOVEMBER!!

Who knew that irises would bloom so late? I remember that this was actually the first flowering plant to bloom at the beginning of the spring. It had a short season of beauty, then was overtaken by the black eyed susans and purple cone flowers.

Seeing this unfold this week was a constant reminder to me of God's promises and beauty that he supplies to us on a daily basis, and even in times in which we least expect it. There is a promise of blooming and beauty again - even if it doesn't come until next spring - but we were able to enjoy a bit of beauty from these gorgeous blooms this week.

All of this has given us a bit more affirmation of our growing daughter's name. We've had the hardest times with girl names, and what do ya know - that's what we end up having. We don't argue over them, we just never find one that "suits" until we find "the one". That's the way it was with Miriam. This time around, it's been a bit more difficult, and we're trying to keep the same criteria when choosing the name. So far, we've settled on Lydia for our daughters name (no middle name yet). We've debated back and forth about the perfectness of the name, but I think we're at least 90% settled....unless something else pops up. But the name Lydia is so perfect. It means beauty. How perfect, uh? The beauty and promise reminder of that flower....God will fulfill yet another promise to us before next spring in a different way of beauty - and we'll call her Lydia.

Burlap frame of/for Miriam

2011-11-03T21:42:00.003-04:00

I love to pretend I'm crafty, although I'm a far cry from it. I am loving the bits and pieces of inspiration that I get from pinterest, even if I only get a chance to look at it once a week. Since I started that journey, I made this for my niece Grace for Christmas with this inspiration. I think she'll really love it - and it's cute just like her.

Then, I've been slowly trying to get this project together: it's a combination inspiration from these two ideas: taking the wood and phrase and using the frame and burlap idea to make one frame with printed phrase on burlap with a picture of Miriam. I'm excited to hang this one up, find more phrases, and have this be a staple baby gift to my friends. All in all, the materials were fairly inexpensive ($5.50 for a super duper ridiculously large roll of freezer paper, $2.99/yd for burlap-the project took less than 1/4 yd, and a picture frame - got mine on sale at Hobby Lobby for 1/2 price). And the finished project:

What's your latest pinterest inspiration? Are you actually following through with any of your pins?!

Adoption

2011-11-01T21:20:00.001-04:00

In love [God] predestined us for adoption to be sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.

We are so excited to be expecting again, as we prayed diligently and yearned early in Miriam's life to grow our family even more. We've been blessed beyond measure, through a few worrisome days and circumstances, but we continue to put our faith and hope that our growing baby girl will be healthy.

But lately, I've grown even more excited about what happens after we birth our second daughter and the life that follows. You see, even before J and I got married, during our pre-marital counseling sessions, we discussed what our idea of "family" looked like and we pretty much agreed that, Lord willing, we'd have 2 natural blood children, then we would adopt a 3rd (either nationally or internationally). We were struck that the Lord would have put such a desire in our hearts, but we knew it was for a reason.

A little background...
When we began our pregnancy journey and trying to conceive in early 2009, we were saddened and disappointed by the many, many, many let downs and no encouragement. Finally, I had a diagnosis and we were on the starting path of "fixing things." We had already decided that we didn't want to endure the infertility treatment route (for financial, physical, and emotional reasons), so we took the first course of action and I began taking Clomid and progesterone as a way to kick-start my cycle (I was going 3-5 months without a period). After the first round, it "didn't work" and I was told we'd have to increase medications and move forward. Unfortunately, the medications were too much for me to handle and we put a stop to them. We weren't going to move forward with other options or treatment plans, in fact, I refused to do anything that didn't seem natural.... and we were planning to pray and save up for the start of the adoption process in early 2010. That's when we realized the desire to adopt a child was meant to be, as we figured that was the Lord's way of "warming us up" to the idea, since we wouldn't be able to have a natural blood child.

Much to our surprise, the day before I would have started the next round of medication, I received a BFP and lo and behold, sweet Miriam blessed our lives 7.5 months later. Even after her birth, about 5 months later, we longed for another child - almost more deeply than we did before we even had Miriam, and we struggled (although I was nursing) and it took some time. We praise God for the blessing of this expectation and continue to seek His will through this daughter of His.

Meanwhile - we're now going "okay, so we said 2 natural children, then adopt a 3rd....does that mean we really are going to do that?" I am praying that the Lord continues to mold our hearts to do just that. We have several friends who have adopted 1, 2 or all of their children (both local, nationally, and internationally), and have only been blessed by their stories. Let me share two with you:

But the real reason I share all that, is to share with you these stories of two fun families that we know and are super excited for...
Some high school friends of mine, The Fergusons have a super family of 4, but are praying and seeking to add a sweet baby girl to their family. They have just recently started the process with Family Christian Services (familychristianservices.org) and are beginning to find ways to raise money for their adoption. She is a fellow ministry-mother and learning photographer and offering photo shoots at a great price to earn some extra money to pay for the adoption (they can be pricey...$12k-25k depending). If you're looking for some cute, great, and simple photos to add to your Christmas cards with a little extra fun in your shoot, contact Maria at fergusonadoption@gmail.com to set up your appointment. (you all know I'd take your pictures too - for free - but maybe you should help this family out just this once ;))

Another family, Matt and Amy: When we were in the mountains a few weeks back, we met a great family - the husband was the one that I had the privilege of playing some music with. They have a daughter (6 years) and they are living the lifestyle of Nashville musicians. Actually, the wife is a stay at home mom, and the husband Matt plays and does all sorts of recordings in studios. They have just started their process of adopting from Rwanda. Although there is a halt right now as the Rwandan government figures out their guidelines for adoption, they have started all of the paperwork and hope to have answers and/or a child within the next year. Their vision is great, exciting, and encouraging. Matt is even planning to record a lullaby album in the next few months to sell as a fundraiser for their adoption - I'll certainly pass along the information when I have..youll definitely want to buy it!!

These are just two of the numerous stories we've been able to hear. Just hearing these two life stories of families with such a desire to display the gospel through the act of earthly adoption is thrilling for me. We can't wait to be a family of 5 (instead of 3.5)...can we start the process now???

Weekend to remember

2011-10-23T21:00:00.004-04:00

J and I just got settled back in to our home in the piedmont - much different than our home for 2 days in the mountains of TN. We went for the weekend (without Miriam) and our purpose was two-fold: 1-to attend the wedding of a dear friend, one of the girls from the band I traveled with after high school and 2-to celebrate our 5th yr wedding anniversary. We had a blast of a weekend - and thanks to the wedding and all of its festivities, we are pooped!

The rehearsal and reception were by far nothing I'd ever been a part of before - and the reception especially was something I've only seen in magazines. I even got to play in the wedding with some of the most talented Nashville and CA musicians. We saw gorgeous trees at the peak of their color changing season. We spent time together as a couple (something we haven't done in quite some time). We talked about what's ahead and what we've been through. We ate until we couldn't eat anymore. We BOTH got pedicures and laughed the whole time. All in all, the weekend was the best I could imagine. Such rejuvenation! Here are some photos from the weekend - they don't even capture half of the goodness we experienced!

tablescape at reception

cool moss-covered ornament

scene from overlook site

happy anni flowers from J in the hotel room

Questions

2011-10-18T20:40:00.002-04:00

Now that I'm about 85% recovered from the weekend of caring for sick Miriam, and the early week caring for sick me (BLAH), I'm trying to bog my mind with things other than lysol, toilets, and ginger ale. These are the questions that I've been pondering considering our life change in Feb/Mar:

1 - do I get a double stroller? a travel system? tandem or side by side? jogging? do I sell what I have now?
2 - what kind of furniture do we get for Miriam in her new room? same type of "lifetime" furniture with converting crib? matching furniture? really nice furniture that we bought for the nursery?
3 - how do you put 2 children in all-day childcare? surely there's someone willing to watch both Miriam and baby when June rolls around?? and willing to do it half the cost (the cheapest I've found yet is $1750/month - and it's a hole in the wall!)
4 - what size clothes will Miriam be wearing at Christmas? she wore 18 months all summer, but now, some 18 months fall stuff is too big, some too little, but she seems to have stopped (or at least slowed) her growth some
5 - what happens if they put me on bed rest at 28 weeks (I was threatened with this the other day) - how do full time working moms with a traveling husband deal with this??
6 - when will I get my appetite back?
7 - what will I wear tomorrow?
(sorry, 6 and 7 are just thoughts about tomorrow...)
8 - what will we name our baby girl?
9 - I wonder how long I'll nurse our baby girl
10 - I wonder if anybody wants to sell me their ERGO carrier....

busy

2011-10-15T15:29:00.003-04:00

So we're stuck at home, and mostly inside this weekend getting over all of the bugs we've had this week. I would have much rather been in the mountains this weekend, enjoying a different side of church ministry, taking trips to the apple orchard, and going bowling with my famous shoes. Instead, I'm about to go crazy in the house!! So, I made a few goals for myself this weekend. And, I've been pinning so much on pinterest but haven't yet done anything with my pins. So, I took a trip to the pumpkin patch at WUMC this morning and to Walmart and got busy! Here were my goals:
1. Make my 8 year old niece, Grace, a clip board following this idea
2. Make burlap printouts of one our favorite lines from a book we read to Miriam often put this idea and this idea into one project.
3. Add some type of "fall-ness" to our porch (we don't celebrate Halloween and I'm hesitant to put out pumpkins before Nov 1, but we were looking a little bare and boring).
4. Hand wash all of my sweater cardigans and let them dry in the beautiful sunshine.

And here are my accomplishments:
1.

90% finished product (I like polka-dots instead)

added embellishment for girly fun!

2. My burlap printouts will have to wait - need ink in the printer :(

3. Our porch started with this lone mum (which, by the way, I got on the clearance shelf for $3.13 on Thursday). and I even left it in the black plastic pot. Sad.

So, I took a few items that we had in storage, and added two "fresh" pumpkins and turned our front porch into fall fun!

Can you tell which pumpkins are real vs fake??

4. All sweaters are washed and hanging on the rack on the deck. So fresh and clean, clean!

Now, I must sleep while I still have a little time left in Miriam's nap (which I should have made goal #5)

Let's rewind

2011-10-14T20:56:00.003-04:00

It's been a rough week around the Ghent household - if we could only rewind the week and start all over...here's why:
1. If you remember from one of my posts last weekend, we headed outside to get some photos of Miriam, in the midst of the backyard-infested mosquito bed. Well, we just knew they were out there, but we weren't sure that she actually got bitten. Well, Monday morning brought us a bit of surprise. One bite on each cheek, 3 on her left hand (that made it swell up so bad all over!), and one on her right ear. Poor thing! Well, apparently Monday night/early Tuesday morning in her sleep she must have scratched her ear - which led to scratching off the bite, which led to goop oozing from her ear all Tuesday morning and afternoon. It was yuck-o, but the preschool folks assured me it wasn't too much to worry about. Well, since Miriam stays the afternoon with the doctor's wife, he came home for lunch and diagnosed her infection! So we got antibiotic and have fought with putting it on her ear every morning and night this week. It's so gross looking. And I'm sure it has to bother her. Poor thing!

2. On Tuesday night, I was playing with Miriam in the floor before bed. She got all excited, and is really into the whole "dive into anything" right now, so she dove right into me, into my right side down far enough to hurt me and scare me that she hurt the baby. Unfortunately, pain started immediately and I continued cramping all through the night. I debated whether to call the doctor (b/c what was I going to tell them...my daughter fell on me?! not to mention, I already had an appointment scheduled for the upcoming Monday...) but the cramping and pain didn't stop by morning, so I had an appointment late that afternoon. The doctor assured me that no trauma was caused and the baby was fine, beating at a very strong heartbeat of 155 bpm. He was so kind and didn't make me feel like an idiot. He has been great in coaching me through this second pregnancy, as we've gotten to be a little cautious (read a little about why here). So, I rested, put my feet up, slept a little longer each morning, and took to my 500 mg tylenol for comfort.

3. Thursday, I went to pick Miriam up from the sitter's house and she was still sleeping when I came. I went it to get her and she woke, then I realized there was something in her pack-n-play...and it was all over her...and in her hair! She had gotten sick, and obviously her lunch was making a reappearance. She stood up quickly and started crying for me, so I picked her up...where she then proceeded to throw up even more - ALL OVER ME!! Now, I already have a queasy stomach, not to mention pregnant making it even more queasy. But I deserve a big award - she did this to me 5 or 6 more times and I never spewed....until the last time. Poor thing - we got her cleaned up, tried to lysol everywhere in the sitter's house, and we went outside to make it home. Put her in the car seat and - you guessed it - all over. Again. Everything. So, we RE cleaned up, but this time put her back in the car naked (we'd already gone through the spare clothes) and prayed to make it home before the next episode...which happened as soon as we walked in the door. It was a rough afternoon/night to say the least! She did, however, sleep well at night, but woke with a 100 fever that FINALLY went down after she woke from her 3 hour nap this afternoon.

4. With all of the unfolding events, I had to back out on the church-wide retreat weekend. This is a super fun weekend away in the mountains with folks from the church. Although I spend a good amount of time working (friday night, saturday morning, sunday morning), I enjoy being away with everyone. Just need a break every now and then. But instead, I stayed up til after 11 typing up my entire lesson that I had poured thought and excitement into...then spending the morning writing down all of my responsibilities and delegating them to others. It was a headache and such a bummer that we're stuck at home (J and I living in fear of getting the bug ourselves), and still giving Miriam the BRAT diet.

Perhaps the upcoming Saturday will be restful, beautiful, exciting, and family-filled...everything it would have been in the mountains, but except at home.
Have a good weekend yourself!

I got crafty

2011-10-10T21:02:00.002-04:00

For my friend Kimberly's baby shower this past weekend, I was considered to be one of the hostesses...although I don't feel like I did much. I showed up with cocktail weinees and oatmeal scotchies (my famous recipe). I didn't feel like that was enough, so I decided to embark on a crafty journey and went with homemade bath salts as party favors for everyone. It was SO easy, and I definitely will use this idea again, maybe for Miriam's preschool teachers presents at the end of the year. This is what I did:
1. Gather supplies:

A large bag of Epsom salt, 2 containers of sea salt, and one large box of baking soda (all from Walmart), and a jar of tangerine essential oils that I already had from my homemade cleaning solution (but I originally purchased it from EarthFare). I always keep some quick oats on hand, so I decided to use some of those too. I also bought 2 boxes of 8 oz canning jars (12 in each box). These supplies filled 22 of the jars about 3/4 of the way full.

2. Mix: 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup sea salt, 1/2 cup baking soda, and 1/2-1 cup of oats in a metal or stainless bowl. Add in 20 drops of oil and stir with a metal spoon.

3. Fill the jars with the salt mixture and seal

That's really how easy it was. I wanted to write a little note with directions, so I formatted a circle in the right size, and typed out my directions. Then printed them out on cardstock, cut them out, and placed them on top of the lid. This was the final, and very cute (might I add), product. I even wrote a little poem to go along. I think they were a hit, and I hope all the girls enjoy them!

The first attempt

2011-10-09T20:52:00.001-04:00

**Warning, many pictures of Miriam to follow**

I have been pretty bad with taking pictures of Miriam since she turned 1 in July. We've been busy, I've been sick, and I just haven't had the camera nearby when it's needed most. So, I've challenged myself this month to really get movin' and get some shots, since it is the beginning of fall, and she celebrates a month day (TOMORROW!). We are heading to the mountains next weekend, so I have held off on the pumpkin shots until then. Today, with it being so windy, we headed to the back yard to see how good we could get.
Well, we didn't get good at all for a few reasons:
1 - Miriam is obsessed, I mean OBSESSED with dogs. Each morning when we get her from her crib, she's standing up pointing to the window or the lamb piggy bank, "woofing." Whenever she sees the lady who cares for her in the afternoons, she "woofs" at her too. When you ask her "Where's Lily(the dog at the sitters)?" She gets a concerned look on her face and holds out her hands, like "I don't know, where?" All that means, that when we head outside, she immediately woofs. We have dogs on both sides of us, but one dog, "Jazzy Girl", in particular is rather large and barkey 24/7! As soon as we got into the back yard, the dog went crazy - and totally took away Miriam's focus (as if she had any to begin with....). Then, as it calmed down, our other neighbors let out their cute dog (who doesn't bark at all and Miriam is totally intrigued by her, but she's totally afraid of her). So, between the two dogs, it was impossible to get her to look at the camera, much less smile. All she wanted to do was "woof" the whole time.
2 - Our backyard is infested with mosquitoes. I thought it wouldn't be that bad today since it was cooler, but we were wrong. We all got bitten and annoyed by them.
3 - Miriam is still figuring out nature (leaves, twigs, and grass) and still allergic to most of it. So between her playing in the ground, sneezing, and wiping her nose, we had very little time to snap photos.

With that said, what follows is a picture story of our photo shoot. They may not be super cute, but they're hilarious.

I'm safe here if the dogs come after me...

perhaps the best shot?

"Okay mom, I'll pose for you - how does this look?"

I'm not so sure about this, guys...

Really, how many more of these are you going to take?

ooh ooh ooh, there's Bella!

"But where's Lily?"

"what's that over there?"

"Jazzy, be quiet!!"

A few thoughts...

2011-10-07T22:35:00.000-04:00

It's Friday (our 5th wedding anniversary!) and J and I have celebrated out tonight. We spent some time with sweet M outside, then went for a family/anni dinner at Olive Garden, compliments of J's parents. I love easy-going Fridays, it makes such a great start to the weekend. Just a few thoughts on my mind as we draw this week to an end:
1-tomorrow is my friend Kimberly's baby shower - I've waited forever for this one! It's going to be a college girls reunion of about 20 girls and 8 or so of our children (all girls!). YAY! I'm so excited for her and John, they're going to make cute, great parents to Baby F.
2-tonight at Olive Garden was an interesting night - we saw 5 families with folks with disabilities. although one was mild with just a boot/cast on their leg, others were in permanent wheelchairs, some were mentally disabled, and one family (just a mom and son)-ot real sure what their story was, but the mom walked from her car and into the restaurant carrying her son (who was at least her size, if not larger)....they sat near us and he ate the fool out of the never ending pasta bowl! we couldn't figure out if it was a special night for olive garden to offer discounts for the disabled, or if the Lord just opened our eyes to some of these situations for a reason. M was so sweet to each one of them though - as always, she grinned real big and gave a huge pageant-like wave. Love her socialness!
3-I'm THRILLED about our pregnancy. It's getting old REAL quick for folks that make comments like "oh wow, they'll sure be close in age"...or "did you plan this?"...or "you'll have your hands full" with such grimaces on their faces. for those that care, we prayed DILIGENTLY for this child MONTHS before its conception, and despaired over the possibility of not being able to get pregnant again since our difficulties with sweet M the first time. What some may not know is that we spent many many nights praying, crying, and seeking the Lord's guidance in our ever present desire to grow our family even more, which was so unusual to us. We almost struggled more with the thought of #2 than we did with M. So to answer those questions, yes, they'll be close in age, but not as close as we wanted them, or they could have been...in a sense, no, we didn't plan this - God did - but we DID want another child by the time M was 6 months old....and yes, my hands will be full - but no more full than they already are with a full time job (in the ministry at that!), being a full time wife and a full time mother. I just get to experience more joy with 2 at such a young age. so there!
4 - The Lord has been teaching me much about prayer, as I'm advising a Bible study by Kay Arthur Lord, Teach Me To Pray, and teaching the Lord's Prayer in children's church each Sunday. What continues to ring in my head and heart is that the God who sees everything and provides for my needs has a will to be done on earth and I am to pray and seek out that will, for His glory, not my convenience. With this pregnancy, I've been more thoughtful of what may happen with our child. The Lord has prepared us more for the unanticipated, and that scares me to a degree....but as long as I'm praying in His will, all will be provided, right?
5 - M can make sounds of a cow, tiger/lion, doggie (of course), and sometimes a cat. She says "nana" for just about every type of food, although there's a distinction for an actual banana and Nana (J's mom). She walks and has started running-wobbling some. She loves to play with balls and cars, and hates grass. She loves food, and only hates olives. But out of all of these things, she LOVES to pray. If there isn't something that makes me happier, it's that when we sit down for a meal or snack, she can put her hands together and pray "GaaaaaaaaaaaD". I'm a proud ministry momma!

Happy first weekend in October! Have a good one!

The blur of September

2011-09-30T14:51:00.001-04:00

This has been a super busy crazy month! We've done some great things as a family, reached some MAJOR goals, and helped ourselves out in a few ways. Just a glimpse:

1. We celebrated my birthday at Edisto - here we are (LEFT) after our filling meal at the Sea Cow Eatery

2. We shared the exciting news of our impending arrival with Miriam's friends and teachers at Preschool...the shirt says it all!

3. Miriam is full fledged mobile now! She has learned all about walking and goes super fast now. Thanks to her friend, Virginia with Easter Seals, she's a walking machine - and soon she'll be a talking machine (and we already know she's a dancing machine!)

4. Miriam has stopped using the pacifier! Her top teeth (or maybe just tooth) starting coming in last week and we decided to kick it in the butt - we actually didn't loose ANY sleep, but did have to deal with at most 8 minutes of the CIO method. It didn't last long and paci is long gone.

5. We gave up "bottles" at Miriam's 13 month day....except for one, the first of the morning, warm milk bottle. We've struggled on and off with this, but I think we finally got rid of it - just feed her food before milk, and she's good to go! (who knew she enjoyed eating so much?!)

6. We celebrated with friends and cheered on our Gamecocks every Saturday - we even taught Miriam how to join in:

7. We've been enjoying spending our Sunday mornings (9-12:30) at the church. Miriam loves the nursery and all of the volunteers love her. While I work, and daddy attends, she's well taken care of. Here's our latest family photo at a reception at church last weekend (thanks Virginia!)

8. I'm well into the 2nd trimester now, and although it may be mental, I am feeling a lot better. I've actually been cooking in the kitchen a good bit, feeling better about grocery shopping, and not having to nap every afternoon. These 13 weeks make pregnancy bliss! We're looking forward to the month ahead - I'll start my progesterone shots, we'll have a couple of ultrasounds, and we're hoping to know the sex at 16.5 weeks (I know, long shot, but if not then, we'll definitely know sometime in October).

We've got great anticipation for October: celebrating our 5th anniversary, my best friend's baby shower, a trip to the NC mountains, an anniversary trip to TN and a great friend's wedding, finding out the sex of Baby G, and a lot of work, meetings, and meals to go in between.

Hope your September was a blast (and hopefully not a blur), and October holds hope and anticipation for you too!

Things I got...

2011-09-26T09:42:00.000-04:00

Before the weekend, I wrote this post about random things I had been craving. I am happy to report that I got 6 out of the 10 by this morning. That's not too shabby...and it looks much better than my to-do list. So now, all that's left is:
1. pickles and chicken salad
2. cheesecake
3. indian food
4. a nap
5. new underwear....maybe I should wait a little on these too, since my growing hips and all might demand a slightly larger size?
~~6. an apple dessert of some sort~~
7. a photo shoot with Miriam...I think I'm going to wait until she's about 15 months - which will be right at the time we're in the mountains for a church retreat. we always go to the apple orchard, so I can see us getting some real good shots there! now just to find the perfect outfit.....
8. someone to do her 1 yr scrapbook....note, I did at least get all of the pictures that I want to use for it organized. Maybe my SIL will continue to encourage me to get started on that thing!!
9. a vacation (one at least longer than 36 hours)...yeah, this will happen in my dreams only
~~10. to hear 130-170 bpm on Monday~~ it was actually about 148 :)

Go Gamecocks!

2011-09-24T16:04:00.002-04:00

Things I want:

2011-09-23T21:09:00.000-04:00

(and in no particular order)
1. pickles and chicken salad
2. cheesecake
3. indian food
4. a nap
5. new underwear
6. an apple dessert of some sort
7. a photo shoot with Miriam
8. someone to do her 1 yr scrapbook
9. a vacation (one at least longer than 36 hours)
10. to hear 130-170 bpm on Monday

I'm not ashamed.

2011-09-22T14:25:00.001-04:00

So I NEVER do link ups, simply because I just don't have time to read and blog-stalk, but today is a different kind of day....it's a Thursday. and a rainy one at that! So, why not, right? Maybe you, me and Amber will have something in common...

Just remember, it's ok....
1. to not shower this morning because you know you'll want to be extra refreshed on Friday morning
2. to eat a donut in two bites in less than 30 seconds
3. to eat your lunch from the trial soup cups at earth fare because you can't decide which of the 4 to actually purchase
4. to take a little extra time to browse the web when your thinking cap has already headed for the weekend
5. to search for items on craigslist that you want to get for your daughter for christmas, and get mad at the people who think they'll actually get that for what they're trying to sell
6. to let a little toot slip in the privacy of your own office
7. to mess with a telemarketer/salesperson on the phone
8. to go by BOTH chick-fil-a restaurants in your town on free chicken biscuit day so you have one for breakfast and one for lunch - for $0
9. to daydream about the weekend momentarily
10. to go out to dinner because you just can't find it in you to fix anything.

Not that I"ve done any (or all) of these in the past 24 hours...but hey, even if I have, it's okay, because it's Thursday!

Other things I won't forget about 9/11

2011-09-14T15:33:00.000-04:00

September 11 is my birthday. It's been my birthday ever since 1982. And although what happened on September 11, 2001 will forever change the way I celebrate my birthday, I was still born on that day and I have to muster up the "celebration" for the day, despite the sadness of the day.
This year, we decided to take a quick family vacation (does 48 hours count as vacation?!) to Edisto Island. One of our sweet families at the church graciously offered us their beach house in May, but we had to come back for this reason. So they re-offered another chance, and we took them up on it. We traveled down late Friday evening and these will be my memories of the way we celebrated this year:
1. sleeping in until 7:45 a.m. on my birthday morning (certainly a FIRST since at least October, if not before then!)
2. watching Miriam discover seashells and learn their "flavor"
3. getting 2 hours of "me" time on the beach, sitting in a chair, and dozing without a single book, phone, or ipod to listen to
4. experiencing the Sea Cow eatery for dinner and a slice of the MOST AMAZING BANANA CREAM PIE ON THIS EARTH
5. opening my gift from J - a beautiful wrap maternity shirt and vintage necklace that he picked out for me, AND a stuffed monkey for our sweet Doodle Bug
6. our family walks on the beach
7. Jeremy totally taking every opportunity to pamper me and take care of Miriam so I could rest and relax
8. not ever having a camera when I really wanted one (I've been SOO SLACK with taking photos since M turned 1!)
9. listening to that sweet message from my mom and dad 4 years ago singing me happy birthday

It was a wonderful day/weekend of celebration for us, even in the midst of remembrance for not so exciting happenings on recent 9/11 s. Although all of our days were filled with remembrance, I'm thankful for my friends and family who helped us also celebrate!

Only 6 days left...

2011-09-10T13:43:00.000-04:00

And apparently Verizon will delete my ONLY 2 saved voice mails from 2007. One of them happens to be from September 11, 2007 when mom and dad sang happy birthday to me. The other is a call from mom right near Thanksgiving just a few short months after my birthday when she was headed up for one of her treatments. I've listened to the birthday message every Sept 11 since then, and some in between just for the refreshing sound of her voice. The other I always forget about until after I listen to the first birthday message.
I LOVE these messages. It's like one of the last "living" memories of my dead mother. But last night while listening to them (to check other voicemails) the prerecorded lady told me I was down to "this message will be saved for 6 days"....it has in the past said 17, 21, or even 55 days before. And clearly, they haven't been deleted.
But now that she said 6, I'm starting to worry that Verizon is about to take some of my most precious memories of my mother.
And that just plain makes me sad. I hope that it's just a phony message - and the voicemail will at least make it one more year til the big 3-0. Nonetheless, I'll still listen to it tomorrow, and will smile, the same way I did when I first heard the message for the first time.

I found a letter from Miriam today...

2011-09-06T20:13:00.000-04:00

Dear Mommy,

Do you know how much I’ve loved spending time with you this summer? You’ve taken me to the park, played with me at home, snuggled with me in the wee hours of the night during my several double ear infections, and you’ve taken me to some pretty cool places with some neat people. I'm so sad it isn't summer anymore. But, I just gotta tell you, things have been a little different these last few weeks.

You seem to immediately know when I have a poopy diaper. You’ve even gotten so good that you can ask me all the way across the room if I have a dirty diaper! They seem to bother you pretty bad, so I just go ahead and surrender and head to the nursery so you can change it. I’ve noticed that you seem to get a little queasy when you change my diaper. I know that they stink, but really, I bet yours doesn’t smell any better either.

I’ve gotten really good at playing by myself lately. I like to play with my toys in the corner, and while you’re laying on the couch, I bring you each of my toys and show them to you with great love. Sometimes you sit up for a quick second, but then you’re laying back down again. Haven’t you been going to bed early at night? And, daddy tells me you try to nap when I’m napping. Why are you so tired all of the sudden?

You FINALLY get that the food that you feed me really doesn’t look or taste all that good. I’ve noticed that it’s gotten so bad that you can’t even feed me anymore. Come to think of it, I don’t see you eat hardly anymore either. You know, you need food to give you energy, which may be why you’re so tired.

You and daddy have been doing a lot of cleaning lately. You've gotten rid of some furniture in the room that has a bunch of stuff in it, and you keep talking about painting me a “new room.” I don’t really get it – I like the room I’m in now, and my bed is just perfect. Why are you talking about moving me? (but if you do, I want some purple on my walls).

I got a baby doll for my birthday, but you seem to like it more than me. You’re always saying “baby” around me, and telling me to be gentle with soft touches to the baby.

Even though things have changed a little bit, you seem to be really happy, even though you are tired and sick a lot of the time. I wonder if daddy has noticed anything. I sure do love you mommy.

Miriam

Restless

2011-08-23T15:40:00.000-04:00

It's days like today that I'm a little restless. There are a few dates that I will always remember, and Aug 23 is certainly one of them. It used to be that it was the day that I started school, then it was the day I'd normally move into college. But far more important than that, it's mom's birthday. Around our house, mom's day was a big deal, as it should have been. But since she has passed, Aug 23 is just "normal" I guess. Last year, with a due date of Aug 18 w/Miriam, we though how cool it would be (then) if she came late and landed on mom's bday. how crazy would that have been - a mom look-a-like born on the same day!?! But, Miriam had other plans and came 7 weeks prior (and now I think I can say that with a "thankfully" in it).
This year, I didn't even psyche myself up for it. In fact, it wasn't written in my calendar, and I didn't think about it anytime prior...until this morning.
Today, Miriam got tubes put in her ears to hopefully help with those rascally ears of hers. When signing her in the surgery center at 6:15 (AM!!!), I looked at my watch for the date and time and immediately said - ooh, I gotta call mom and wish her a happy birthday. J just kind of looked at me, and I caught myself mid-sentence too. Funny how "normal" it is without her, so much so that I reach to call her on the phone. After that point, I was a little sad and bummed - I knew I couldn't chat with mom today, and it just stirred up some of the restlessness that reappears in times when I miss her so.

Sometimes I hate that our life has become so "normal" without her. But at the same time, I'm glad that we've been able to press forward and continue moving on in life, with sweet memories, and moments like I had today. Even though I couldn't call, I still remember my sweet momma today and am so thankful for her birth 58 years ago today. oooga boooga.

Before and after...and no pictures to show for it!

2011-08-21T22:03:00.000-04:00

We at the Ghent home have been quite the busy family this weekend. We've been on a mission to get rid of some of our junk/your treasures, put some extra $$$ back into our pockets and clean up a bit around our house. Spring cleaning hasn't really ever had it's fullest extent in our home, until this weekend!
Project #1: Move the living room furniture around to accommodate a HUGE entertainment furniture that my mom loved and bought a few years back (it costs more than our bedroom furniture!!). This entailed, moving the piano from the living area to the dining room, getting rid of the large recliner that mom bought for us our first married Christmas (another post on that piece of furniture to come), swapping the couch and love seat, purging all of the wobbly tables from the room, getting the furniture from dad's, and moving it in to the house THEN set up shop. The project officially started at 9 a.m. yesterday morning, and was fully complete by 10 p.m. Of course, we did things here and there and in between. It also involved the purchase of a new vacuum cleaner (the SHARK Navigator Lift-Away!), as well as a monsterous LCD tv. Now, in our house, we've never owned anything larger than a 19" anything. We haven't even purchased a TV in all of our years together, so we thought this change of scenery was a cause for celebration and we went all out - then of course had buyers remorse all day while we watched the huge screen! Now, we just have to "decorate" the shelves. I'll get a picture up soon, so you can help me with that.
Project #2 - Clean out the office/exercise room/craft room/music room/play room/storage room/picture fram room/etc/etc. We have a 4 bedroom house, and that poor room has gotten a beaten in 3 years. Since we're about to celebrate the start of year #4 in our home, we decided to purge some things that aren't functional, like this desk. We got it as a hand-me-down, and did a dirty thing - sold it for $35 on craigslist. Our junk, their treasure, right? It was probably worth about $200, so they certainly got a deal! Got rid of that sucker this afternoon.
Project #3: Sell Jeremy's beloved Sentra. Now, we sold the honda LAST weekend to a great family, who's high school daughter will put some love into it. It was such a great car, and it was definitely hard to part from it. But J is having a hard time getting rid of his car. It seems 3 things are holding us back: only one key, chipped paint on the top of the car, and an ubiquitous rattle that comes and goes and was "fixed" last weekend by our trusted mechanic. Otherwise, this car is in great shape, with low miles, new tires, and J was the only owner. We've had several folks take a look at it, some more serious than others, but we've come to realize that we aren't going to get what we thought we deserved for it, and it's going to be harder to sell than the honda. If you know of anyone interested, send them our way!

Whew, what a weekend - but we feel so accomplished, and certainly a little cleaner around these parts. Come visit us and see our new "do"!

Glorious sleep

2011-08-14T16:39:00.000-04:00

These days, with the stormy sleepy weather, I can't get enough of sleep! J and I have been so blasted busy that the weeks just fly by and the days keep getting shorter and shorter. A few weeks back when Miriam was sick, we did loose a lot of sleep, so I just keep telling myself we're trying to gain it all back.

There's nothing I look forward to more than the Sunday afternoon nap. Now that Miriam is almost 100% consistent with her 2-4 or 4:30 nap in the afternoons, I set out to take full advantage of that for "me" time. That "me" time means parking my tush on the couch, grabbing the pillow and blanket, and snoozing away til I wake up. There's just something about it - and the fog that I live in for the next 30 minutes while I try to regain consciousness before I hear Miriam tell me she's awake. After an early, hard working morning at the church, I deserve it - right?

I wish I would have listened to the advice from family and friends about a year ago when they said "sleep when baby sleeps"...why was it so difficult to do that then? Now, I just make it to 2 p.m. and I'm ready for a snooze.

So thankful that Miriam is a great sleeper and good napping baby still. We've certainly been blessed!

Paging Dr. Ghent

2011-08-09T20:08:00.001-04:00

So, I went to the doctor myself today after taking Miriam last Thursday for a double ear infection/upper respiratory infection. She got meds, but I didn't. After waiting my 30 minutes, I coughed for the doctor, and he patted me on the shoulder whilst saying: "Mrs. Ghent, you have a cold and a sore throat. Get some rest, hydrate yourself, and take some tylenol."

I'm pretty sure I could have told him I had a sore throat - judging by the fact I had no voice until about 4 p.m. today. Oh well, maybe next time there'll really be something wrong with me. I just made it way too easy for that guy to make his money today.

How do you sell a car?

2011-08-08T21:19:00.000-04:00

So, along with the thousands of changes in the Ghent home over the past few weeks, one of the biggest and best was Jeremy's gift of a work truck. It's his to do all of his traveling to a from work, to job sites, to potential clients, and even here and there in town. So we've recently displaced the good ol' sentra to the parents' homes. It stayed at work for a few days, then at the Ghent home for a few days, and now it's at dads (along with my old honda from high school/college days). So we're going for it: we're going to attempt to sell both the honda and the sentra.
But how do you do that? Mom never taught me how to do that. She taught me how to use one of these:
and she taught me what to do with this: and how to fill out one of these: ...but she never taught me what to do when I needed to sell a car. All I know is that she said NEVER buy a BRAND NEW CAR off the lot - no matter how much haggling and price lowering. She said that wasn't worth my time or my wallet. So what about the selling part? Do I pretend that the Blue Book value is what I need to ask for? Do I sell it on craigslist? Do I put an ad in the paper (I know, so like 5 years ago...)? Do I give it to a company for a flat price so I don't have to deal with it?
What do you think is my best bet?

I paid a lot but still got it on sale...

2011-08-05T20:25:00.000-04:00

Today I took Miriam shopping for shoes - these were going to be the first pair of shoes I had purchased for her EVER, thanks to my big Sis and her two wonderful daughters and their previously worn shoes...so, naturally we headed for the Stride Rite store (since momma always told us those were really good shoes for babies learning to walk). I pulled up and saw something glorious:

It just happened to be a BOGO50% off day, AND it was the first day of tax-free weekend, so I grabbed my baby and headed in. We measured her (tiny) foot, and managed to walk in and out with 2 pair of shoes and 3 pair of big girl socks for $60! Aren't they precious?! My friend's daughter, Taylor, has the same sneakers, but I just couldn't pass up the deal and they're so cute on!

I know, I know - 60 bucks for shoes for a 1 yr old?! Might I justify: like I said, these are the FIRST pairs of shoes we've bought for her in a whole 13 months! AND she needs them for her upcoming abilities to walk super fast especially when she returns to preschool in September.
And of course, the most important part of all, I GOT THEM ON SALE!

I got it on sale!

2011-07-31T21:27:00.000-04:00

One thing my mom always taught me: never buy anything at full price. She used to go shopping at Belk (because if they didn't have, then she didn't need it). She would take a lunch break on Mon or Tues to go out there, purchase a few items on the sale/clearance racks and use her coupons and 30-60-90 credit card. She'd bring them home, try them on (and just maybe one piece would fit), then she'd use her lunch hour on Wed or Thurs to take it all back and repeat. She LIVED at and LOVED Belk(s) as some folks like to add the extra "s". Even in her sickly days, she and dad would venture out there and shop around for whatever they could find. Then, when she had a piece that worked for her, when someone would compliment her, she'd give them the break down of the original price vs what she actually paid.

What I learned from that madness: never buy anything at full price (even if that means you have to turn around and take it back)! I, too, am just like my mother. Why buy something if it's not on sale? Too many people in this world buy things at full price, when you know good and well, it's only worth like 5% of that price :). So, I was able to practice my life lesson at Kohls the other day while looking for a white shirt. On the clearance rack I found the CUTEST, STYLISH dress that was original price of $50. In true mom fashion, I just grabbed it off the rack, and went to the cashier. With my luck, and tax, I only paid $7.83. And it's perfect! I plan to live in this dress for the rest of the summer. So, when you see me in a gray/blue dress with a little ruffle, just remember: never buy anything at full price!

I'm afraid again...

2011-07-27T21:07:00.000-04:00

Almost 4 months ago, I wrote this post about giving over my fears in life's situations. Since then I have been living in the joy and freedom of doing just that, and have been blessed beyond measure. And just when I thought I was doing great, and the Lord rewarded in so many different ways, now, I'm at another crossroads of many intersections and don't know which way to choose.

Have you ever felt the God's Holy Spirit leading you a certain way? Have you ever been so convinced by His power to make a particular decision or to be joyful in a time of excitement? Although I have to be vague, I'm smack dab in the middle of one of those times. Ever thought a good thing wasn't always the best thing? That's me now - and I'm AFRAID that I'll make the wrong decision. AND, besides that, I'm constantly battling the fear I face in other directions. Back at square one, walking in fear, instead of freedom.

Lord, I just want to walk in the freedom of your provision and providence. You make all things beautiful in time - help me to live in that beauty.

the party

2011-07-14T22:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday was Miriam's First Birthday and her birthday party. She woke up shortly before all 42 guests showed up and then she saw this beauty:

From about the time Miriam started bathing in the "ducky" tub, we knew she had a love for ducks. So, for her party we had a ducky theme and I even got to work in the polka dots (my dream for our first child's first birthday party even before we were pregnant...). She saw this beautiful cake made by Katie Beth and out of her mouth "duh-ti" :) She even loved the cake! She didn't ask for a fork, or have dirty hands - all she needed was her mouth!

Here we are, proud Mommy and Daddy of a sweet One Year Old Miriam!

All in all, it was a great afternoon of celebrations! It was super hot and crowded in our small living area, but we felt so loved by all of the family and friends who came out to shower love on Miriam. She was so happy, and didn't skip a beat with all of those folks around. We are so blessed to have such a social, happy baby!

Mom, I hate you missed the party. You would have been proud that I didn't go overboard, I didn't freak out, AND I asked people for help. Each day that goes by with Miriam, I'm reminded more and more of you by Miriam and her smile and her personality. I'm pretty sure there are pay back days when she gets the best of me...but then she turns right at me, and grins - and it looks just like you. It's crazy how much joy she has brought to our lives, and has - somedays- covered up the bits and pieces of sadness that you're gone. Although the tears and the hurt in my heart are still there, she brings joy and remembrance of you. I still miss you so much, but so glad to celebrate a year for our little bug!

The Final Countdown and a prayer

2011-07-08T21:09:00.000-04:00

I knew several months ago that I would be spending Miriam's last week as a "x-month old" by leaving town and heading to the tri-state region of KY, VA, and TN with the church's high school group on Mission Appalachia. This is a trip that I've been on 9 times total, since I was a freshman in high school and all throughout my interning years, and now employment years at the church. I normally go on the even years, but since I was so great with child (and in labor with child) last year, I was due a chance to be a part of the team this year. Jeremy had originally planned to travel with us, however his new employment has kept him at home this week. I am so very glad that we've been here this week because as we've been approaching the 1 year mark, my emotions have been running wild! I can't believe that the year has flown by!
Now, Miriam, crawls, talks, blows kisses, shakes on command, waves without hesitation, smiles to EVERYONE she meets, and loves her food (like she always has!). She is certainly growing up to be an adorable toddler with quite the personality. And I needed a week away to spend with her, and to keep my mind off all of the things that would soon be ending as she turned one. Soon, we'll end our special times of mommy milk and she'll being drinking from a cup. She won't desperately need me 3-4 times a day for nourishment. Instead, she'll want more food to fuel her energy and keep moving! I think I can honestly say I cherished every stage up to this point, but that still doesn't make it sad that we are moving on to a new stage of life.
We also had a prayer that by Miriam's 1st birthday we would be excitedly anticipating another addition to our family within a few short months. However, the Lord has designed another plan for us to this point. So we will continue to wait, as we did so patiently on the journey with Miriam, and we will shower all of the love we have on one another and on Miriam. We certainly are enjoying our little "bug" and can't wait for her to develop a love for a baby brother/sister. As we taught this week at VBS, God knows exactly what we need, and he is the one who gives ultimate blessings.
We are grateful for our ultimate blessing of sweet Baby M, and pray for a year of health and blessings to be upon her.
And the countdown begins...42 hours left until ULTIMATE DUCKY CELEBRATIONS!!

And she's off...

2011-06-21T21:59:00.000-04:00

Mom always told us we were growing up too fast. I laughed at her. Now, I laugh at me....I can't believe the changes that happen OVERNIGHT now with Miriam. Just 7 days ago, she wasn't rolling, sitting, and surely not crawling. Look from the videos below that indeed, Miriam is growing up too fast (and beating some of her developmental goals from being preemie, etc)!!

Happy day and sad day...

2011-06-19T21:09:00.001-04:00

Happy Fathers Day to some of the great men in my life. It's been a fun day celebrating with Jeremy (the best father to Miriam in the world!) and with TriPaw (J's dad). Unfortunately, it's one of 3 days I haven't celebrated with my dad in all entirety of Father's Day, but I made sure he knew he was loved from afar!

And Miriam, well, she tells it like it is:

In other news, I've been kind of an emotional basketcase these last days. Within the past 6 days, Miriam has learned to sit up, roll over, pull up, stand up and army crawl a few feet. I've been cleaning and packing away the bagillion burp clothes that were attached to us for the first 6 months of her life, the bottles that she used on countless nights because of meetings at the church, and the pacis that she has little interest in now. I've changed out the clothes for seasons and sizes and have packed up over 10 boxes of the cutest girl clothes ever! I've cleaned a nursing bra and put it away, and now, with less than 3 weeks til the big celebration day, I'll be packing up the others soon (I'll no longer be subject to white bras!!!). Snack time now consists of cheerios, strawberries, ritz crackers and blueberry waffles. She knows how to talk, give high fives, "praise the Lord" and blow kisses. All of this means, that our baby is not a baby anymore, and this makes me so sad. I'm ready to do it all over again - I didn't soak it in enough the first time....

your last MONTH-day!

2011-06-11T21:56:00.001-04:00

Doodle bug,
I can't believe that we celebrated your last month day yesterday! We have been trying to soak in every second of you and your new tricks and skills but it's getting harder to keep up with you and everything you're learning each day. Since your last month day, there have been MANY changes!

- You now have 2 full teeth, the front two "downstairs" - you love the Dr. Seuss Tooth Book and I'm sure more teeth are just around the corner! However, you manage pretty well to eat all sorts of foods with your gums!

Proof that you do have teeth afterall!

- You really don't not like many foods, but some of your favorites these days have been nutrigrain blueberry bagels and yogurt, sweet potatoes, goldfish, and circle crackers.

- now that you can stand up, you love to be on your feet at any and all times

- You love duckie, bathtime, playing paticake, and listening to mommy play the violin

- Lately, you've been expanding your vocabulary to include: "dada," "nana," "chicken," "paci," "duckie," "milk," and "all done"

- You had your first trip to the zoo on Memorial Day and you loved it! Your favorites were the elephants, the koala, and the farm.

- For the first time you saw some real baby chicks (which I'm pretty sure you thought were ducks), and you LOVED it! Almost so much that mommy almost bought one just so you could see a live "duckie"
- You have been gaining more experience at meal and snack times lately. We're starting to move away from the pureed stuff and you like feeding yourself. I'm really surprised that you like corn, sweet potatoes, and beef (3 things that mommy DOES NOT eat!)
- You have finally started rolling, but you still only roll using one side. We're practicing on sitting up, and rolling the other way - before we know it, you'll be crawling! (and thanks for Virginia and our help through Baby Net, you'll be getting lots of practice in the coming months!)

I think I like this rolling thing...

- We've been teaching new things and you've gotten pretty good at them: 1 - you still use a paci for nap time and bed time, but as soon as it's time to get up, all we do is tell you to leave paci in your crib and you take it out and lay it down for safe keeping. 2 - In the car you always have to have your set of keys or, guess what, a duckie as your companion. But you know that when the car stops and it's time to get out, you have to leave your toy in the cup holder so it's there for the next car trip.3 - saying hello and byebye with gestures is coming along, and you're really starting to wave!

- You now understand a lot of the sign language that we've been teaching you: all done, more, milk, yes, please, thank you. I bet you'll be signing back to us sooner than we think!

- You have absolutely NO social problems, other than you're the new social butterfly on the block. You get it honest :)

I can't believe that month 10 was filled with so much and that we only have one more month until your birthday. If I could bottle up any of the last 10 months, I so would, so that we could remember each and everything about you. You're teaching us what it means to love and how love can grow exponentially in seconds. Your teaching us what it means to be patient, gentle, and positive in all circumstances. You are a gift from God to us, and we praise him for your life!

Mommy's yoga partner

Memories

2011-06-02T23:08:00.000-04:00

“Nothing revives the past so completely as a smell that was once associated with it.” Nabokov

The past few weeks have been changing our world upside down but the most change happened on May 21. No, the world didn't end, nor did I think it was going to, sort of, but dad got married. I never would have imagined ever in my life that I would have witnessed that with him (or mom for that matter). It was a difficult weekend to say the least, but wasn't nearly as hard/awkward as I thought it would have been. After mom passed, we accepted the thought of dad remarrying as a reality - NO WAY could that man be happy living alone. But his happiness and that reality didn't make things any easier. It's the fact that dad remarried because his wife died. It's that simple to understand. The reason my dad was getting married that day was because my mom was dead.

Since his wedding, they've decided to live in her home while it's on the market, get rid of most of the furniture in his home and begin renovations of sorts, so they can make their new life together in the house I grew up in. So, my sister (who so conveniently was moving into a new home) ransacked the house on Tuesday and left the great room practically empty, with the exception of a quaint little corner cabinet that housed some of my mothers most precious collectibles - her Santa Clauses.

Mom began collecting Santa Clauses several years back,in the late 90s, and she had them in all shapes, sizes, looks, and prices. Each Thanksgiving/Christmas, she'd get at least one, if not 2 (or 3!) from dad, or my sister, or me. In the later years, she began finding the Jim Shore santas (his step-daughter's husband worked with my mom) and getting them signed by him. From that, I developed my own stash of Santas since J and I have been married and on mom's death bed, she offered me whichever Santas I so desired.

So today, I treked over there with Miriam (only her 3rd visit there) and walked into an quiet and empty house. As soon as the door creeked open, I smelled my house, the house smell I knew and was so familiar with for 20 years of my life. It was like the flood gates opened and, with Miriam in my arms, I wept.

Knowing I was there to collect the santas and wait on the arrival of my MIL to see about taking another piece of furniture, I composed myself and headed towards the santas, but checked out a picture of mom and dad from a few Christmases back, the first one that she was sick (07) and took it to Miriam and let her stare at it. She was perplexed at first, but then slyly looked up at me and gave me her cheese-ball grin like she knew exactly who the woman was (and then I wept some more).

I finally made my way back to the santas, and racked up with all 6 large santas, and 3 miniature ones, and an angel snow globe that serenaded us while I wept even more. That corner cabinet and those Santas had "the smell" etched in them and as each one came off the shelf, I whiffed in the aromas of my past as if it was today's reality and missed mom's life lessons more than ever.

someone is pressing my fast forward button...

2011-05-31T22:39:00.000-04:00

It seems I can't keep up with time these days. Somehow, days, weeks, and months have gone by and I just can't keep it straight. I'm starting to be worn down more (it alwasy seems to happen in the summer months), and I'm just exhausted - all of the time! Work piles up, Miriam wants to play, and daddy is traveling a good bit. But, nonetheless, we are still enjoying our time with sweet Miriam. I haven't recorded much since her last month day, but here we are - almost at the 11th month day - YIKES!!!
Over these last weeks, dear Miriam, you have:
- grown an even larger affection for your duckies. if you're ever sad or angry, a ducky is sure to remedy the problem
- finally come along with 2 teeth on the bottom. the first one popped through 2 days before your 10th month day, and the second has just happened in the last week.
- started eating more and more "real" food (forget purees!) and you can even handle whole milk - woohoo!! your favorite snack food is ritz circle crackers
- learned how to pull yourself up (of course with some help) and stand at the coffee table
- seen the animals on the farm (preschool field trip) and at the zoo (family day on Memorial Day)
- taken a dip in the pool with your friend Taylor and LOVED it!

We are still working on:
- rolling over
- crawling
- sitting up from a lying down position
Soon, you'll be meeting a new friend to help you with these things so that you can continue to grow and move like your other baby friends. I'm so grateful for your "teacher" that will help you do these things.

I can't believe that I started really planning your 1st birthday party today - I can't believe our little sugar bag is going to be a whole 12 months old!! I'm loving this life and instead of fastforward, I wish someone would press pause!

another Debbie in heaven

2011-05-12T14:49:00.000-04:00

A few months back, I wrote this post about a dear friend's mother who had passed away. Today, I write about another dear friend who has left her daughers and husband. These two ladies, as special as they were to me and to many others, have now joined mom in the glorious dancing with Jesus. As exciting as that is, it doesn't discount the sadness that the Leathers family is experiencing this day, 2 days after her death, and the day of the service of worship to remember her.

We left for the beach leaving some dear friends on the brink of ultimate grieving. Their mother and wife was lying in a hospice bed, unresponsive, and suffering from ALS in the last days of her earthly life. We knew the end was near, but surely thought it would be later in the week. We had spent some time by her bed the week prior and even made a late night visit to her on Sunday to say some last "good byes." Sadly, she passed early Tuesday morning, and arrangements were made for visitation to be Wednesday and a service for Thursday.

Debbie was such a servant in the church, especially when it came to the children. She was always willing to help in the Sunday school classes, with the nurseries, and even taught in the preschool when I was first hired at the church. Even after she was diagnosed, she continued to serve in these capacities in some form or fashion up until only about 2 or 3 months ago. She made the trek out to my house to visit with us right after Miriam was born, and we weren't venturing out too much and she loved it when Miriam and I visited after she got to be less mobile.

The life story of the Leathers' was so familiar to us, especially for their oldest daughter. I felt as if I had been reliving the 22 months of mom's illness and death all over again through her. Katie got married in June 2009 with her mom proudly walking down the aisle before her arrival. Less than a year later, her mom began showing signs of serious issues, and was later diagnosed with ALS. In the same way, Jeremy and I were only married for 6 months before the diagnosis of the deadly brain tumor was given to momma.Katie was by her mother's side in the year that followed as often as she could be and cared for her so her father and younger sister could rest. I had done just that for momma too. Katie and her husband Ryan do not have children yet (although I know for certain that soon Ryan will come around, and Katie will be such a wonderful mother!), nor did Jeremy and I during mom's illness or before her death.

With all of these similiarities, I knew the feeling of losing someone so close. And these are some good friends of ours who have given us a lot: numerous tickets to Panther games, their family refrigerator for our first newlywed apartment, and a hamper for Miriam's nursery, and some wonderful food are just a few of the tangible things that they offered graciously, but their time, love, and servant lives have been an inspiration to Jeremy and me over the past 6 years. We just couldn't miss out on an opportunity to be there during such a sad, yet joyful time for them, as their dear mother and wife is no longer suffering and is now a dear dancing partner with momma. So we cut our vacation short and left after a short 45 hours at the beach to be by their side as they entered in to a new season of grieving.

Please pray for Jamey, her husband, as he returns to work and life without a helper and partner in crime. Pray for her oldest daughter Katie, as she returns to life with her husband and begins to see what her "normal" life looks like. Pray for the youngest daughter Laura, as she begins a rigorous 40-hr week 4 week job in a local pharmacy and returns back to her school work (she just completed her first year of pharmacy school). Such a dear family who has been saddened, but praise the Lord they know the Truth and have joy for the no longer suffering of Debbie.

Vacation, not so much.

2011-05-12T14:14:00.000-04:00

I live for May each year. Not only does the weather turn promising for warmer climates meaning shorts, flip flops and sun, but it's also the month that we take our annual "summer vacation." Since the summer is such a busy time in the church, and we don't get "spring break" or the wonderful 8 weeks off in the summer, Jeremy and I have always found the week just before Memorial Day to be our token vacation week. After our numerous experiences at Myrtle Beach during this said week (which just so happens to be "Brotha and Sista Biker Week), we decided that this year, with Miriam, we'd have to do something different.

Our wonderful church friends, the Logans, agreed to lend us their home in Edisto for the week, and we anticipated our trip since Christmas! We decided to go earlier in May this year, because of Dad's wedding festivities and all and finally the dates were set: From Friday, May 6 - Monday, May 16. 10 full days of restful bliss with my husband and my daughter. It was going to be great! I desire nothing more each year than to spend a week away from my home, office, and relationships - so that I can regroup, revive, and fall in love with my family and creation.

Unfortunately, not so much. As a series of events unfolded, our 10 day vacation hasn't been so much of a vacation after all, but rather an odd way the Lord has chosen to teach us a great lesson.

Instead of being selfish and only thinking to appease my yearly desire for laziness, this year we were put in situations to put that aside and think of others...something that has left us in a more rewarding state than the relaxation in the sun.

Instead of going early to the beach, we gave up time to be with dad at his bride and groom party (which was a great time to celebrate, although the worst time as it fell on the eve before Mothers Day). Then we took time out of our travel to do the rehearsal dinner invites for his festivities in just TWO WEEKS! Instead of staying down at the beach, we had an early return to support our friends The Leathers at the death of a dear wife/mother (another post to follow). Instead of going back down, we're taking a detour and going the opposite way to be with Jeremy's family as we celebrate Joshua's 1 year birthday and his dedication. After it's said and done, we'll have spent almost 20 hours in the car, at least $125 on gas, some $50 on meals on the road, and $75 for groceries (most of which were wasted and still down at the beach house).

It doesn't really matter that I didn't get to waste time away in the sun and get burnt to a crisp, or really even get pictures of Miriam on her first beach trip, or avoid work (because when folks saw that I was back for the funeral, they assumed I was working)....instead, we got the fulfillment of bringing joy, encouragement, peace and comfort, support, and celebration to our family and dear friends and that's all that really matters.

It's funny how the Lord uses 10 days of vacation to teach you more than you've learned in a whole year of real life.

How did I screw this one up?!

2011-04-26T09:20:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, I did the children's message during the worship service and I was telling them how excited I was to wake up Sunday morning - not just because I knew it was going to be a beautiful sunny day but that.... - and one kid pipped in and said "because the Easter Bunny came!" I IMMEDIATELY responded "Nope, the Easter Bunny didn't come to my house" - you should have seen the looks on those kids' faces. I believe that I have at least begun the ruining of their little imaginations. Some of them went home and asked "Why didn't the Easter Bunny visit Mrs. Amanda?" Poor parents had to make up excuses of who knows what to explain why I said what I said. Oops. Way-to-go- Mrs. Amanda!!

You see, for us Ghents, we didn't celebrate an Easter Bunny this year (or really since we've been "the Ghents" in over 5 years...)

Ever since we got pregnant, Jeremy and I have been discussing what we'll do with these holidays - Easter, Christmas, Halloween...
I'm somewhat convicted about how to actually celebrate them the way the world does. Growing up, Santa Claus was ridiculously loaded with cash and toys and always provided enough surprises to blow my mind on Christmas morning. Then, the Easter Bunny would come and load us up with chocolates and peeps. But honestly, that's all I remember about those holidays as a child.
Not that my parents did a horrible thing in raising us - believe me, I LOVED all of the surprises and the candy - but I wonder how I missed out on the biggest reason for those celebrations - the birth and death of our WONDERFUL SAVIOR, Jesus Christ. Of course I remember the Sunday school lessons and such, but I don't remember celebrating the coming of Jesus before we celebrated the coming of Santa. AT the same time, I don't think it's wrong to have the EB and SC visit your house each year (so if you're big supporters of the hairy rabbit and big fat man in red, I hold nothing against you) :)
So, we've wondered and discussed and wondered and discussed what we're going to do about these with Miriam and our other children. If this year is any example, Santa didn't visit our house, nor did the Easter Bunny. Financially, this was awesome! And, even without all of the goodies and surprises, our family was able to celebrate and rejoice. However, Nana & TriPaw, and Papa were very sweet and gifted some much needed PJs and Puffs for sweet Miriam, but that's about it (I think they look for any reason to give Miriam a gift!).
On the flip side, I don't want to discourage the beautiful imagination of a child. I want our children to be filled with just as much excitement and surprises as I had when I was little, but I also want it to be reasonable. I still feel torn - do we celebrate with SC and EB or do we just share the gospel story? Maybe it's the fact that as I teach in Children's Ministry, I'm the one person that HAS to be more gospel-focused than imagination-focused. In my teaching, I have to steer clear of any mention of the EB or SC....in fact, they try to keep out of my vocabulary when I'm around the kids. Maybe this is all ingrained in me, and now it's flowing into my personal life.

What do you do for Easter and Christmas? Are you supporters of SC and EB?

No way Nine Months!!

2011-04-12T21:29:00.000-04:00

I can't believe our sweet Doodle Bug is 9 months (adjusted 7.5) now! All of the many things you are doing now:

- really hamming it up whenever ANYONE looks at you - you LOVE to smile!

- patting, clapping, and we seriously believe you're starting to wave too

- totally enjoying your snack time each afternoon after your nap. Mums and Puffs are currently the fave

- you have started to "inch worm" on your back in the crib

- you can hold a plank position when you're on your belly

- new foods that you've tried in the past month...those that you've enjoyed: brocolli, green beans, prunes (thank the Lord for those!), mango and those that you've not so enjoyed: papaya, avocado. on your ninth month day, you tried pureed chicken and it rocked! I guess you get it honest.

- your grunts are now turning into babbles...pretty sure you said "dada" the other day...but since, you haven't said it again. however, you love to talk to yourself at 3 a.m. sometimes...who knows what you're saying?! then, you go back to bed

Things we still get to look forward to that most 9 month babies have already done....
- your first teeth (people say you've been "teething" for about 6 months now....still waiting)

- being able to sit up from a laying down position

- rolling over (we've really been working on this...but pretty sure you have absolutely no interest at all in doing this...ever)

- pulling yourself up

- lowering the crib

- eating something that's totally not pureed

- drinking from a sippy cup

I'm excited that we have so many things to still look forward to just in the next few weeks. You are growing so fast I can hardly believe my eyes! We love you doodle bug!

MaaaMaaaa and DaaaaDaaaa

Letting Go

2011-04-05T10:16:00.000-04:00

I have been living in fear. The what if's have overtaken my thoughts. For a particular situation, I have been praying and praying for weeks now that the Lord would grab me from the fear and put absolute trust in Him.

I've been blessed to be a part of a Bible study for the first time in years! ...and although I'm not the biggest Beth Moore fan, Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed by Moore, Kay Arthur and Priscilla Shirer has been great! We've been focusing on the life of David, mainly through accounts in II Samuel. The "key verse" has been, Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family that you have brought me thus far? (2 Sam 7:18).

The Lord has brought my family and me so far...shouldn't I be able to give up my fear and move past it?

Praise the Lord, through his strength, I am one step closer. He has shown his presence and loosened the grip of fear. How great it is, and how I delight, to live in his presence, where the fear is no more. Trusting in Him, he will continue to take me further.

To that I respond a simple, Yay.

routine

2011-04-02T20:18:00.001-04:00

Me being the type A personality that I am (or at least used to be) was dead set in my routine 9 months ago. Like clockwork, I did the same the day in and day out. I always thought that I'd be an easy kidnappee because if someone were to follow me for 2 days, they would know where I would be and when I would be there. Then, Miriam was born and my routine went out the window.
No more early waking to go for a run (I'm lucky if I get to run once a month!), no more small iced coffees in a medium cup every Wednesday, no more knowing my schedule MONTHS in advanced. Instead, I have sweet Miriam. What's a schedule?
We have no schedule. We are never on time anywhere, and we are always on the go. I've always called her my "tote and go" baby, because from the beginning, that is, after we were "released" to get out in public, She spend more time in her car seat than the crib. To the church, then back home, then back to church, then out for an errand, then a lunch meeting, then back to the church, and even sometimes, spending the night at the church! She was such a trooper.

However, nine months later, we don't exactly have a set routine, there is one thing that we can always count on: BATH NIGHT!! Because of scheduling, we take a bath on Mondays, Thursdays, and Saturdays - and an extra one in there if there happens to be a mishap. Miriam LOVES to bathe in her yellow ducky tub and she always knows what happens when she sees the tub. She starts looking around for something she knows is there, but Mommy will waste some time putting soap and water all over her, getting it in her eyes, and tickling the part underneath her chin. But then, oh then, after she's bathed, out comes yellow ducky! Life is a party then. Tonight, even, we played with ducky for almost 20 minutes in the tub - and this was 10 minutes AFTER her normal frantic dinner milk:) Here's one of my newest favorite pictures that we took after bath time tonight.

she has a cute smile behind that thing!

She loves ducky, aka QuackQuack, but too bad it's rubber. We can't wait to go see some at the lake soon.

Maybe we can fit that into our routine soon? :)

How did I miss it?

2011-03-27T17:15:00.000-04:00

I ran into someone today who wanted to relive some of mom's "moments" and in talking with them, I caught myself thinking that it has been 4 years ago last week that mom's first surgery took place and we spent a week in the hospital. How did the time slip by me and how did I ever forget about that memory making moment?!
I'll tell you how:
I had several meetings on Monday, hurt my ankle and was all laid up on Tuesday, spent about 12 hours at the church on Wednesday, then hosted a girls night out on Thursday, celebrated J's birthday with a surprise event date night with some of our besties to Duckworth's Taphouse and the Andrew Peterson concert on Friday, then a 2-hour trip in Target to get some essentials, and another evening out celebrating with the in-laws, plus a long morning and afternoon at the church.
Who had time to think about the day before, much less 4 years ago, with all of that going on?!

Although I have ABSOLUTELY NO FREE time to do something other than work or care for my family (not even exercise much these days...), I guess I'm not complaining that some of those memories have moved themselves to the back burner. I used to always wonder how long I would dwell on them - every momentus day, every event that happened, every setback that gave us disappointment. I just knew that I would remember them so vividly from year to year. Maybe, just maybe, my busyness is the Lord guiding me in ways to move on. I'm not really always thrilled about my lack of time to do much of anything, but in this instance, for once, I was a little relieved that I had almost forgotten the beginning of the end.

a day in the park

2011-03-20T18:19:00.001-04:00

We've been blessed with some beautiful weather here lately, and I'm a sucker for the sun and warm air. So when my friend, Pam, called me on Friday, we decided to take our girls (her daughter, Taylor, is about 2 months younger than Miriam and they spend Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday afternoons together) to the most beautiful park in town. We were excited because they girls had been almost 2 weeks without quality time (because we've all been sick!).

Miriam with Taylor's ball, and Taylor with Miriam's block - good thing these girls love to share!

We took out blankets and toys and found a shady spot (after realizing that the park had very few sidewalks/ramps without steps!) and sat down. We even had the local newspaper take our picture and we landed an almost full page photo on the front page of the local section of the Saturday's Herald. Here are a few more shots from our outdoor play date:

Taylor got her ball back :)

Miriam after enjoying a MumMum for snack

and to make the picture perfect, the drool and jellies

the best book ever

2011-03-15T20:04:00.000-04:00

About 1.5 years ago, I wrote this post about the Jesus Storybook Bible - a MUST HAVE for any family with a child 0-5th grade. It's such a cool book in my opinion, that we've started gifting it at the church when the babies are baptized.

Today, I caught word of yet another contest to enter (I know, after losing the last 4, why would I want to be disappointed YET again?!)....

I heard that someone of the Short Stop blog was giving away 10 of the newer large trim Jesus Storybook Bibles- I'm crossing my fingers for this one - at least there are 10 available - I hope I get one for snuggle time for Miriam and me :)

and a couple of tricks up the sleeve...

2011-03-14T20:36:00.000-04:00

I meant to share two other "tricks" about sweet Miriam - she has showed us with her brillance (of which I NEVER doubted)! We do lots of things with our hands and arms, initially it was because of her weakness in her left arm/shoulder. She can "pat pat pat" back with us now and she gets so giddy when we do it with her!

She also has these stackable rings that she got as a Christmas present from her dear Ann-weese :) She LOVES playing (and eating) each ring, one by one, taking them off. And, what we used to think was just careless banging and clanging of the rings together and against the yellow stick, she really WAS trying to put them back on the stick. She can get at least the blue and green one on, and sometimes the yellow...and we're working on the rest.

She may not roll over like most 5-6 months are, and she may not have any teeth like most babies before 7 months, but she sure is smart. Of course she is :)

Embarking on 8 months

2011-03-11T20:43:00.000-05:00

Our sweet glow worm,
It seems like just yesterday we were wrapping you up with the bili blanket and letting you sleep the day away. Eight months later, you're really not into much sleeping - you'd rather explore! What a month it has been! Your daddy and I have enjoyed each and every day more and more and love to see your intriging looks. Some highlights from the past month:
1- We have enjoyed the Kindermusik class with all of your friends and the greatest teacher, Mrs. Connie!
2 - We celebrated our first Valentines Day with you - and since you can't eat any candy, we just kissed you all day long.
3 - We rejoiced in your life as we sadly remembered the death of your "heaven nana" on February 19.
4 - You are now able to sit up completely on your own, and we can leave you there for up to an hour to play. Your favorite toys right now are the stackable rings, Violet, and the new (old) sing and spin zoo mommy got for you at the consignment sale.
5 - We officially started solids after you turned 7 months, but you really have just gotten the hang of it. You've enjoyed the apples, bananas, carrots, rice, and oatmeal, along with your recent indulgement, Baby mum mums. By far, your favorite food is pears. We can't wait to try butternut squash, green beans, peas, and avacado. Mommy really likes making your food right now too!
6 - On February 23rd, you managed to get out of your swaddle and lose your paci before 8:15 p.m....and you slept until the morning! So, Since February 24th, you have been COMPLETELY swaddle free! Your mommy and daddy were starting to think that you were going to have to take your swaddle blanket to kindergarten!
7 - You are learning more and more sign language, and although you don't sign back with mommy, you acknowledge what she is saying. You also LOVE IT when mommy speaks and sings in Spanish. It must have been that trip to Mexico when you were in mommy's belly that made you love spanish!

Stats for 8 months:
17 lbs 10 oz, almost 27 inches

We are on pins and needles to see what new things you'll be doing this month!

another contest...

2011-03-11T15:48:00.000-05:00

I've entered a few contests the past few weeks and lost. It certainly can be depressing, and I never thought I would be so competitive. But social networking has a way of bringing out the best! i just entered to win a camera creature the my nice Nikon D3000 can don while taking photos of Miriam. At least I have better odds this time with 3 winners. Here's to a victory!

The art of craftiness...and a shoutout to some!

2011-03-04T20:36:00.000-05:00

I'm fairly right brained. From a young age, music was my way of expression, from dance, to piano, then to violin. I always wanted to be artistic in other ways though. I wanted to be able to draw, I wanted to be able to make "cute" posters for the upcoming school/church events, I wanted to be a graphic designer. There's something about it - I can almost visualize all of the arsty things, but I just can't follow through with them. I must admit there's a bit of jealousy for folks that can do this. Like, my friend Ellie and her bowties that she makes (and now has her own BOOMING business!), or my friend Sara who gets to do too many fun things with her sewing machine. Sometimes I just wish I had an artsty project that turned out fantastic.
But, alas, I'm just musically inclined....until today!

I've discovered my new sense of "creativity": making homemade baby food. I know, I know, doesn't sound too creative, but it sort of felt like it was. Another friend of mine, Alice, gifted me this book a few weeks back before we decided to start Miriam on solids (which is a long story, but although she's almost 8 months, we have only be doing solids for a solid week and a half now). I knew that this would be one of the only opportunities that I could actually make her baby food. The next time there's a new baby, I'm sure I'll be busy! So I wanted to take advantage, and at least for a bit, claim the right as the preparer of her food.

This morning, my creative juices were flowing and I got in the kitchen to prepare butternut squash, carrots, apples, and pears. Within 2 hours, I had a vision and saw through it. Now I've got at least a dozen or more servings of each fruit and veggie.

And the best part: the carrots and apples were free (thanks to Earthfare's Welcome Home and weekly coupon specials). The squash was only $2.34 and the 2 pears were about $1.70. So - 48+ servings of homemade organic baby food in 2 hours for just about $4. Who wouldn't want to be creative like that?

my apologies

2011-02-24T20:19:00.001-05:00

When J and I bought our house, we went through our local credit union who has held my banking membership since I was a preschooler and knew what a penny, nickle and dime were. We ended up being the first couple to go through the process of their "new loan". Funny enough, they asked us to be the poster family for their mortgage department and all of the advertisments for that department for a whole year had us on the cover. We even got a billboard (apparently, but I never saw it). Thankfully, I have a branch right down the road from me, so whenever I have to go to the bank, it's just a hop, skip and jump away. And, everybody knows me and my life story in there. That's what I love about a local credit union - it's more than just a bank.
The past week, I've had to go twice to deposit a total of 5 checks (2 the first time, 3 the next). I have made a fool of myself both times. The first time, I told the teller I wanted to deposit the $$ into my checking account, but I gave her the wrong account number. I repeatedly told her which account and she was so confused...probably because the account number I wrote WAS the checking account, even though I insisted it was different. I apologized that morning for me not being with it.
Then I stepped in yesterday to make what I thought was a BIG deposit, and walked away with something VERY SMALL. So I accused the teller (the same one from the other mishap) of not doing it right. I thought my check was $500+ but instead it was only $94. Geeze! Where has my mind been lately?! I think I've completely lost all since of sense!
To the sweet head teller at my local credit union, my sincere apologies for being totally brain dead and inadequate of doing my banking duties this week.